francbert

there is still a fair bit more to come and i haven't edited or really re-read at all yet so excuse a few little things like not having much of a lock on the tenses with the dual time-frames etc


From atop my hill I look down on them. Up here I see you all and everything could be alright. Here my love is enough.

Sitting in my room she looks at me from beneath her dark fringe. Her eyes are a different kind of soft; terrifying and inviting at the same time. Her attention fixes on the stack of magazines at the foot of the bed and she begins to thumb through them.
Anything new? She asks.
Nah you know me. I reply without thinking.
She giggles a little. There is the highlight of my day right there. When she laughs her her eyes look brighter, her mouth spreads open temporarily freed of her stern control, and her cheeks rise and fill with colour.
I meant among this lot, she says as she lowers her gaze to the magazines again.
One day she will most likely work out that I am not quite as addled as it may seem at first. I think she would forgive me the charade.

Time passes without any thought to accomplish anything. The suns warmth swells and begins to wane again. Up here life is enough to justify the passing.

Life though is not all warmth and comfort, she argues passionately.
True But isnt it better when it is?
Of course it is. Without anything to compare it to though you wouldnt know, she continues. That is why you have to embrace whatever it throws at you.
School is not dull when she is there. I sit and watch her mostly. She would probably never talk to me again if she knew how much I was in awe of her. I love to listen to her when she is in this frame of mind though. She takes me places that challenge and enrich me. My education at her hands is something completely different to what is offered in the official state approved syllabus.

Up here they all make sense. Up here you cant see the pain, only the people. Now the sun is starting to set and my position no longer affords me the same perspective that it did before.

Holding my hand she places it on her chest. Waves crash in the background and we readjust our position in the sand but I cant shift my focus from the steady rhythm of her beating heart.
This is all yours she says.
I am lost for words, not because I cant believe what she has said but because I believe her so fully.
We only ever come to the beach in winter. Hair spills from the hood of her sweatshirt as she rests it upon my shoulder. Her waist fits so snuggly in the crook of my arm and her smell bewitches me. I secretly hope that time will stand still.

I notice that in the twilight strands of light and shadow interplait upon the landscape below. I wonder who lives in which. I yearn to reach out to those in the shadows but I resist.

The first time that I really touched was when I knew. The skin below her shirt was softer than anything that I had ever felt before. Running my hands over her tummy I imagined that this is what touching a goddess must be like. Then my fingers felt the harsh angular ridging. She did not recoil. My fingers traced the tough tissue lines which crossed the flesh between her breasts and navel.
Looking in her eyes I notice my mouth opening, what I was ever going to say though I never knew and I never did find out. She placed an index finger over my lips and sweetly hushed me.
Its ok, she said and then kissed me.
It was if she was she was telling me not to feel bad for asking her to take my pain and darkness as well. She knew me so well that quickly.
We never directly spoke about it.
I never noticed any fresh scars. I never had to knock a blade from her hand and hold her as she bled and wept. But when I kissed these marks something seemed to be freed in her.