So things in my head a little cloudy right now. I usually dont get to personal in this thing cuz there are alot of people that I dont tell to much to. I have only a few shoulders to cry on. Alot has been rolling around in my head since all the shit with Greg went down. Im by no means glad he is dead but im glad im out. I have had a blast being me again. Going out, being silly and being surrounded with friends. Its odd to have a crush its even odder (is that a word?) to kiss another boy. Fun but odd. About this boy I kissed....I feel like "sucker" is still tattooed on my forehead since being with Greg. Im nervous about letting myself feel again. Im not saying I wont. I am by no means going to be jaded. Its worth feeling. Just take everything in and learn from experiences. Im aprehensive about starting something with this new person. There are alot circumstances surrounding my standoffishness. Im sorry for kinda speaking in code. Its great to feel desired and wanted again. I relized with Greg what a needy person I am (relationship wise). This new guy fits well with that. Im happy so very happy right now (except for living at home again but thats a who other issue). This weekend its off to see the boy again on saturday then on sunday its off to NYC to see/hang with Alston and nullxviolentxbeautyx yay for road trips and good times!! Im sure the next entry wont be so heavy or personal it will be about all the dumb shit we did.
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Tuesday Oct 18, 2005
someone put nightmares in my water im tired of just sleep.
hahahah ask me Ill tell you!
Cant wait just have one more day to get thru.
Im so excited!