I dont want your simpathy. I dont want your pitty. I just want a place to vent. Everything or everyone I should say is crashing around me. Nothing is right.
1. A friend found out she is pregnant. Her situation is not ideal. She is not married or even in a relationship for that matter. She has a fuck buddy (who we all know was meant for her). She wants to be excited. She has never dreamt of white picket fence 2.5 kids bullshit. She has always seen herself as a single mom. The BIG problem here is that her "buddy" is married. She can not keep the child for the fear that it looks like him (which his son most definatly does) she will have much explaining to do. She will not be ok mentally if she decideds to abort this child for him. She will slowly lose her mind and resent him. I really want to smack him in hopes that he will relize they were meant for each other, fuck his wife (as harsh as that sounds if he really loved her he wouldnt be cheating on her in the first place.) and be a family together. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
2. A dear friend of mine flipped out. Went nuts. Attacked herself with a knife and is in a mental hospital. She is so doped up I cant get complete sentances out of her. When I called her mom to ask about the situation her mom said "Oh i think its over some boy blah blah OMG did you see me on the news they interviewed me cuz I know the girl that is on american idol, my boobs looked huge." WHAT THE FUCK LADY?!?! Your daughter just attacked herself and is a medicated zombie and your talking about your tits. After talking to a friend I found out she has not been mentally ok for a while. She isnt happy with her job, weight, boy situation or money situation. She had a break down and cut herself, like actually tried to cut fat from her body. I want to go visit her but im scared to. Does that make me a bad friend?
3. My dad has cancer. Im scared. He assures me that it isnt life threatening and that once the infected lympnodes are removed he will be fine. My dad and I dont get along but he is my dad and i love him.
4. My grandma is sick. They arent sure what is wrong. She blacked out at walmart and was rushed to the emergency room. They think it was due to a blockage in her heart. My mom is leaving tomorrow to fly to kentucky to be with her when they run tests. The bad part is that the tests can be life threatening to older people. You know when your younger and your parents and grandparents are immortal and nothing can touch them but once you get older you relize no one is untouchable. I never grew out of that. My grandparents are amazing people. I fall to pieces every time I hear something about them being sick or hurt. They are getting older and I cant even begin to imagine life without them.
My heart hurts. Im tired of crying. Im tired of putting on a smile while the fucktards at work call out and lie about why they are calling out. Fuck you im at work selling god damn clothing to fucking assholes while my world is falling apart.
Like I said before...stop the world I want to get off.
1. A friend found out she is pregnant. Her situation is not ideal. She is not married or even in a relationship for that matter. She has a fuck buddy (who we all know was meant for her). She wants to be excited. She has never dreamt of white picket fence 2.5 kids bullshit. She has always seen herself as a single mom. The BIG problem here is that her "buddy" is married. She can not keep the child for the fear that it looks like him (which his son most definatly does) she will have much explaining to do. She will not be ok mentally if she decideds to abort this child for him. She will slowly lose her mind and resent him. I really want to smack him in hopes that he will relize they were meant for each other, fuck his wife (as harsh as that sounds if he really loved her he wouldnt be cheating on her in the first place.) and be a family together. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
2. A dear friend of mine flipped out. Went nuts. Attacked herself with a knife and is in a mental hospital. She is so doped up I cant get complete sentances out of her. When I called her mom to ask about the situation her mom said "Oh i think its over some boy blah blah OMG did you see me on the news they interviewed me cuz I know the girl that is on american idol, my boobs looked huge." WHAT THE FUCK LADY?!?! Your daughter just attacked herself and is a medicated zombie and your talking about your tits. After talking to a friend I found out she has not been mentally ok for a while. She isnt happy with her job, weight, boy situation or money situation. She had a break down and cut herself, like actually tried to cut fat from her body. I want to go visit her but im scared to. Does that make me a bad friend?
3. My dad has cancer. Im scared. He assures me that it isnt life threatening and that once the infected lympnodes are removed he will be fine. My dad and I dont get along but he is my dad and i love him.
4. My grandma is sick. They arent sure what is wrong. She blacked out at walmart and was rushed to the emergency room. They think it was due to a blockage in her heart. My mom is leaving tomorrow to fly to kentucky to be with her when they run tests. The bad part is that the tests can be life threatening to older people. You know when your younger and your parents and grandparents are immortal and nothing can touch them but once you get older you relize no one is untouchable. I never grew out of that. My grandparents are amazing people. I fall to pieces every time I hear something about them being sick or hurt. They are getting older and I cant even begin to imagine life without them.
My heart hurts. Im tired of crying. Im tired of putting on a smile while the fucktards at work call out and lie about why they are calling out. Fuck you im at work selling god damn clothing to fucking assholes while my world is falling apart.
Like I said before...stop the world I want to get off.
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we both need it.