And I am on drugs again.
Yesterday, I did not want to be at work. I felt horrible, after having stayed up listening to Over the Rhine and having revelations all the night before, and eventually I just left work and went to the doctor.
I described to him my stomach pains, my light-headed/dizzness, my back aches, how my ears always feel stopped up. He diagnosed me as depressed, admittedly, because he had no idea what was wrong.
And now I am on drugs again.
It was probably a bad idea, last night, to follow up my first pill with half a bottle of wine... but bad ideas are the best ideas I have, it often seems. I do not remember the first half of today, though I think I got in trouble for trying to log in to SG before work, dammit. They need a non-nude mirror site so I can sit here and write to myself and check on all of my friends, etc, without getting fired. Or maybe I need to not chase antidepressants with alcohol...?
Hell with that.
Yesterday, I did not want to be at work. I felt horrible, after having stayed up listening to Over the Rhine and having revelations all the night before, and eventually I just left work and went to the doctor.
I described to him my stomach pains, my light-headed/dizzness, my back aches, how my ears always feel stopped up. He diagnosed me as depressed, admittedly, because he had no idea what was wrong.
And now I am on drugs again.
It was probably a bad idea, last night, to follow up my first pill with half a bottle of wine... but bad ideas are the best ideas I have, it often seems. I do not remember the first half of today, though I think I got in trouble for trying to log in to SG before work, dammit. They need a non-nude mirror site so I can sit here and write to myself and check on all of my friends, etc, without getting fired. Or maybe I need to not chase antidepressants with alcohol...?
Hell with that.
I agree with you wholeheartedly about what you said but I don't know what to do when I feel this way about a set. I can't talk about it on my journal because I'm afraid I'll get kicked off the site. It makes me sad when I know--KNOW--that, stylistically speaking anyway, my set is better. I am not saying I'm more pretty or that anythi... oh, fuck, I hate having to be so fucking P.C. about shit up in this piece. I didn't think this was what it was going to be like. AT ALL.
that is, perhaps, the worst thing i could imagine. no matter how angry,sad, or inebriated i am-i always want to remember.
life is too short to waste experience...
let me know if you want to hang out some time. i'm usually off on weekends...