fracturedguy

so as not to offend or annoy, or strike a bad note
as not to damage or destroy, or say a bad word
...
wake up world
it's time to go
'cos this life can bring you down, so down
wake up world it's time to go
and go around the opposite way
...
are you man enough
to take the blame for this?

I'm rather proud of the X on my wrist. Even though, yes, it will be visible when Kate comes home. I relaized that there are several reasons why I do it, and it's a lot of it not to do with depression. I think that half the time that I am depressed, I'm using that as an excuse because I just want to do it.
Today it was about art. I wanted to see it happen, how the skin worked. You study this shit in 7th grade, but you really don't know, right?

So I've been watching The Crime of Padre Amaro. Pervy pervy pervy... I just saw the part where dude dresses up his girl like Mary & tells her she's more beautiful than the virgin. But it's pretty good. I love movies with morals.. not ones where they tell you what's right & wrong, but ones where the characters have to find it out themselves. You study this stuff all your life, but you never really know, do you?

I wonder if I'm doig the right thing, being in love. Maybe I was right all along? Maybe I am supposed to be alone?
It occurred to me last night, just before going to sleep, that living like I used to is the only way I really will be right for Kate... I've been fighting it so long because I was always so wrong for everybody that way.
Maybe I should have a lot more faith in my life?

It does seem to be the recurring theme lately.