fracturedguy

haven't been doing to well at nights since Kt left; got addicted to having her beside me i suppose
i've been drunk most nights since she left
last night i started cutting myself again
but the razor i'd hidden in a book was goneused a linoleum cutter
which really just scraped me up, probably only halfway to blood, nothing really serious
unless you just mean "not comedic"

toady she told me somebody asked her out
she told me she likes the guy
if it had been different i would have asked
what does he have that i don't have
but it is not that
it's what he has that she doesn't have

he's got nothing on me
we're still in love
it's just she's young and i don't want her to choose me blindly
i want her to meet people and know that i'm the one
just as i've met people and know she's the one

she feels bad because she thinks about him and how he doesn't compare to me
i feel good for the same reason
i don't deny it
i don't with the guy heartache, but i come first
besides it is her choince
after all

god damn 1000 miles between us
it is the only thing keeping us apart
can't wait to see her again
my beloved
beautiful
baby

...

amber, with whom i work, says she wants the carnivorous hamster
i would not argue with her
he is the cutest
not to mention i want him to stop eating my other hamsters
even though i have too many and need to get rid of some
i just haven't
got the stomach
for it

...

god damn spike tv, showing hours upon hours of csi, addicting me to the horrible invention that is television

...

god damn Kt
capturing my heart and running so far
these next few years will be awesome
because we will prove
something
amazing