Do you ever stare down your memories like a cat fixated on its prey?
Sometimes I convince myself that none of them have been real, they're all just enigmas, hallucinations, hysterias. All just a lucid dream.
Those moments that feel like hell, that you think you'll never recover from, that will scar you forever, time eventually heals.
Sometimes I wonder if that means I can't get hurt. Or if it means those moments will last too long.
Sometimes I convince myself that none of them have been real, they're all just enigmas, hallucinations, hysterias. All just a lucid dream.
Those moments that feel like hell, that you think you'll never recover from, that will scar you forever, time eventually heals.
Sometimes I wonder if that means I can't get hurt. Or if it means those moments will last too long.
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You're right to think your memories as unreal.
Only the present truly exists.
The present can hurt you.
The past can only remind you.
Of course most people are mental masochists in one way or another. That perverse drive that compels us to relive our worst moments. Trying to pull past tragedies into our present. Probably has something to do with that whole "feeling anything is better then feeling nothing " shite. And hey, since bad memories can turn out to teach us the most valuable lessons, it should make sence that they should be some of the strongest and most easily accessable feeling generators we have at our disposal.
Of course I spend a hell of a lot more time fantasising about the sexier moments of my life than I do re-living past mistakes. Then again I fantasize way more about things I would like to have happen to me then I do about things that have actually happened to me... Fantasy is cool.
umm.....yah.
:ooo aaa: