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This is a belated Valentine's Day post .. very belated, actually, 19 years belated:

Have you ever received a Valentine's Day Spanking? I did once -- but not in a good way. On Valentine's Day, 1986, I received corporal punishment from my elementary school principal. Our music teacher was cross with us because we were making fun of the John Denver song and we were playing our little mini-xylophones at the wrong time. So we got sent out into the hall. There was like half the class out in the hall. (The music teacher had lost his patience.) I remember the school principal, Mr. Steele, walking by us with a menacing swagger. The wooden paddle was sticking out of his back pocket. Some kids saw that and, anticipating the punishment to come, they started to pre-emptively cry right then. Then the principal took us into this little room in the library and gave us all "swats" as they were called, with the paddle. We all cried. Everybody, even the tough kids.

Life is so much better now. You know?

My 1986 self, on a happy non-Valentines day: