right now.. i feel like both Zincy and Mr Ritkiller
so.. in my ever continuing quest to be the supreme emotional maschoist in the world.. i ended up going over to sarah's today.. they got a new kitten so it was nice visiting with the new kitten, sarah and her brother..
well.. her boyfriend.. that i'm trying hard to like so it doesn't look like stupid jealousy or sour grapes was supposed to come over after he was done work around 6.. well.. sarah ends up calling him around 7 and he says he has a couple friends over so they're sitting around drinking and then he had to clean his place.. so.. i was originally thinking i would be leaving before kurt got there to avoid uncomfortableness.. well.. sarah asked if i wanted to stay awhile and hang out more and because she was obviously upset.. i did..
well.. around 1030 or so kurt calls and says he changed his mind and wants to come over.. he comes over and in under an hour.. sarah says she's going to bed.. which..is understandable as i know she hadn't slept since yesterday.. but.. all in all.. i feel like a temporary replacement.. an instant-companion kit that was tossed when something else came along..
but on the drive home.. through the hurt.. i still had a nice day with her before the kurt bullshit started.. so i'm just left confusing and fucking hurt right now.. this isn't really out of the ordinary.. but.. i don't know how to fix it.. i tried faking it to myself for almost 2 weeks and.. that seemingly has blown up in my face..
so.. in my ever continuing quest to be the supreme emotional maschoist in the world.. i ended up going over to sarah's today.. they got a new kitten so it was nice visiting with the new kitten, sarah and her brother..
well.. her boyfriend.. that i'm trying hard to like so it doesn't look like stupid jealousy or sour grapes was supposed to come over after he was done work around 6.. well.. sarah ends up calling him around 7 and he says he has a couple friends over so they're sitting around drinking and then he had to clean his place.. so.. i was originally thinking i would be leaving before kurt got there to avoid uncomfortableness.. well.. sarah asked if i wanted to stay awhile and hang out more and because she was obviously upset.. i did..
well.. around 1030 or so kurt calls and says he changed his mind and wants to come over.. he comes over and in under an hour.. sarah says she's going to bed.. which..is understandable as i know she hadn't slept since yesterday.. but.. all in all.. i feel like a temporary replacement.. an instant-companion kit that was tossed when something else came along..
but on the drive home.. through the hurt.. i still had a nice day with her before the kurt bullshit started.. so i'm just left confusing and fucking hurt right now.. this isn't really out of the ordinary.. but.. i don't know how to fix it.. i tried faking it to myself for almost 2 weeks and.. that seemingly has blown up in my face..