I can finally appreciate where i am at in my life. I have embraced living on my own and who i have become. The last year or so was a hard adjustment going from a 4 bedroom house with two families to a 2 bedroom apartment and not having my children with me everyday. Luckily i had amazing friends and family that helped make my little casa a loving home. It's strange the clarity you gain as time goes on and you adapt and grow.... what a difference it makes not having to be in a toxic environment and how much i actually achieved once i could finally breath and anchor myself.
I earned my freedom, license and stability which has all been an amazing accomplishment during this journey. But even more than that i learned to be a stronger and more powerful force in general. Advocating for my own causes and having a voice again. I refused to let anyone degrade or shame me for my choices when it came to becoming a S.G. model. I would think being able to appreciate beauty in all art forms while defying the social norms and media ideals of what is considered typically attractive, is something to be respected. Being able to put yourself out there and love who you are regardless of gender identity, weight, skin color or body modifications, is a powerful influence in this era of white skinny blond little barbie dolls with perfect skin and photo shopped bodies.
These are unrealistic products of perfection and not true representations of actual beauty, it's false advertising and synthetic. The worst part is this is then presented to our daughters and son's as the image of what the majority finds presentable. yet is an unobtainable mold to achieve in the real world... we are not a one size fits all culture. Not only is defaming and criticizing another human being for finding self love or acceptance in how they represent themselves and choose to express their individuality, a projection of the offended's own insecurity and lack of growth... it's misogyny and bigotry hidden behind a cloak of prudence and self-righteousness.
What it really comes down to when being chastised for stepping out of the preexisting boundaries or role of what is expected of a mother, a women or person who breaks the walls that secure gender identity, modesty and sexuality is nothing less than pure suppression. Another example of the hateful and lustful feeling guilty for their own perversions and exploiting what they can not understand or obtain. Behavior that usually translates to ones own self loathing. To persecute and judge sexual freedom and question another persons right to celebrate their appearance and explore or expose their boundaries how ever they may choose without prejudice of the forum or outlet... and use it to slander or define them in a malicious and negative light as a human being is deplorable.
We come in all shapes, shades, sizes and sexes. We should be encouraging self expression regardless of how you represent it as long as it's from a place of empowerment. Why are we not creating an environment to liberate and educate the next generation. Instead we feed our youth bullshit propaganda of what is considered normal and proper with delusional entitlements of decency and body shaming. Enforcing Gender roles, obedience and preconceived labels of what the majority convey as provocative or indecent. This creates issues with self esteem not just in a neglectful way emotionally but physically, manifested in eating disorders, depression, anxiety and isolation . Still the masses use social punishment as a way of oppression. Even worse if you decide to except and be proud of your body or explore your image without hinder or dispute, it's not seen as a stance of courage but viewed as unprofessional, insidious or without moral discipline. Our children who become adults and learn to respect and love who they can be are then faced with slut shaming and body hating as well as gender bashing. Seek liberation not phobias.
I am a lot of things... A mother, a stylist, a suicide girl, a feminist and a women who refuses to deny her sexual orientation and preference or my self expression because it makes you uncomfortable. Guess what darlings... life is uncomfortable but perhaps the problem isn't our inability to assimilate but your inability to except not everyone is like you.... and it's fucking fantastic.
“My idea of an interesting person is someone who is quite proud of their seemingly abnormal life and turns their disadvantage into a career.”
-John Waters-
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