introspective romanticism
Where does all of this come from, the feelings welling within my soul and mind, pouring onto the screen like so much water. Enveloping my soul with swirls and fogs of rapture and light, thoughts, simple conjurations of a thirsty and starved mind, bring me peace in a maelstrom of doubt.
Does my own mind decieve me, do my perceptions, like those of all men, cloud and shape the very universe in which i reside? Do these things pull me ever closer to their grasp, like one chasing the dragon, till I live in my own little fantasy where the things I want live and breathe and want me back. Desire me as i desire them...need me. No, never need. Needing me would be a mistake, an err, something to be abhorred and beared back as a vampire with a holy relic. Ward it off. Need is a raping of love. Never need someone. Needing someone "to make you complete" or "to feel more yourself" is simple infatuation.
Infatuation: Not being able to live without someone (i.e., need)
Love: Being perfectly capable of living without someone, but not wanting to.
That's where I am.
My life is good, great in fact. Situations that I find myself in are condusive to thought and introspection of self, they enrich me. The universe in which I reside has order and logic, and makes sense. I want you here.
Does that make me a bad person? Does it make me needy? Of course not, I could continue on...living as i have for years, and enjoying life as much as possible. Is this honest? Of course, I know of no other way to live anymore, but that of pure unadulterated honesty. The honesty of a five-year-old in the presense of the fat aunt. Pure and beautiful honesty.
Where does all of this come from, the feelings welling within my soul and mind, pouring onto the screen like so much water. Enveloping my soul with swirls and fogs of rapture and light, thoughts, simple conjurations of a thirsty and starved mind, bring me peace in a maelstrom of doubt.
Does my own mind decieve me, do my perceptions, like those of all men, cloud and shape the very universe in which i reside? Do these things pull me ever closer to their grasp, like one chasing the dragon, till I live in my own little fantasy where the things I want live and breathe and want me back. Desire me as i desire them...need me. No, never need. Needing me would be a mistake, an err, something to be abhorred and beared back as a vampire with a holy relic. Ward it off. Need is a raping of love. Never need someone. Needing someone "to make you complete" or "to feel more yourself" is simple infatuation.
Infatuation: Not being able to live without someone (i.e., need)
Love: Being perfectly capable of living without someone, but not wanting to.
That's where I am.
My life is good, great in fact. Situations that I find myself in are condusive to thought and introspection of self, they enrich me. The universe in which I reside has order and logic, and makes sense. I want you here.
Does that make me a bad person? Does it make me needy? Of course not, I could continue on...living as i have for years, and enjoying life as much as possible. Is this honest? Of course, I know of no other way to live anymore, but that of pure unadulterated honesty. The honesty of a five-year-old in the presense of the fat aunt. Pure and beautiful honesty.