Sit for a while. This is gonna be a long one. I owe it to a few of you adoring fans.
First off, can I make a comment about a comment I recieved from Trevor? I am for sale on froogle. Is that some sorta practical joke? Or is that for real? If you are curious refer to my last entry, page two. Its quite amusing. Creepy, but I guess I can laugh.
Oh, and welcome back Avalari. My dearest hunny bunches of oats has been MIA.
Missed you so much!
I know DerangedMichy is prolly a lil jealous... here is some love for you too my Hot Tamale
.
Ok... now on with the serious stuff.
(I wrote this while I was on the train, since I missed SG so much!)
So maybe its the season? Or maybe I've been spoiled rotten for the last two years?
I think "greedy" is the adjective that would explain my absolute feeling lately. Maybe even "selfish" is a better word? Well shall I go on?
Ok.
Well I guess it is selfish of me to say that I havent been feeling special lately. I know my BF and I are on a tight ass budget due to the holiday season, school, and bills. Expenses are a tad bit short. Understandable. I wish, somewhere in between my BF did have time for me, and visa versa. Even a little suprise would do me in. Something small, like a note, a card, a picked flower (where the freaknits would he find one?), just something to say "Hey you are still on my mind."
I think it is wrong for me to feel this way. Its kinda selfish of me to feel so neglected, when Im not. My BF does a lot of things for me. Things I over look I guess. My mind knows it, but my heart isnt satisfied. I guess no one is really ever satisfied, everyone always wants more.
On top of that this is the first Xmas atleast from what I can remember actually wanting something. Usually I find it super freakin fun buying things for other people. I still do, its just so frustrating this year. Coz of my wants and needs. SELFISH, have I said that enough?
I dont really want anyone buying me anything. The fact is, I wanna buy my self everything! Its just gonna take longer than usual. I have to buy presents for everyone first. I do wrap something for myself every Xmas though. Just to amaze myself... how silly I really am.
I do have an Xmas list this year of wants and objectives. Here are a few things on that list: (For the curious ones)
1. Paul Frank "Julius" Pink Ked Shoes (size 4-5).
2. More funky neck ties to add to my collection.
3. Everyone in my family donate $10-$20 dollars to me instead of a present so I can pay for school.
4. More leg warmers.
5. John Legend CD.
6. Elf DVD.
7. Digital Camera.
8. Camcorder.
9. Laptop or new PC.
10. Monchichi Dolls on my wishlist.
11. Take Japanese classes.
12. Spend more time with my art.
13. The new NOKIA 6820 (better version of my 6800)
More.... I will make a final one this week.
Argh. Art thing. I finally realized, and SG has a huge influence, that maybe I should go back into my art thingy majigy. Its been a while since I really took the time to be creative. I was maybe even think if doing it on the side, while I figure if I wanna study Zoology or Architecture?! I dont ever want to lose that side of me... I want to take a few art classes... photography? drawings? stuff like that. Things I can do on the side ya know?
Oh so many things about me. Things I havent quite figured out. I wish I can just randomly write words that I feel define me. I wanna know what makes me, me!
I am an artist, a writer... Im spacy, gullable... I am silly, moody... I am so much... but I am me. I think wanting to feel like myself has been bothering me. I couldnt quite grasp it... sometimes I want to experience life alone, but I know myself too much... after a few days I will get tired of it. Like a child with a toy... Argh. I think I need therapy. Seriously. I dont know what it really is thats bothering me? And life couldnt be any better!?
Well. I was gonna add things I like about me, and things I hate about me... but maybe another entry? Part II? I just dont want you guys drifting off into space... oops! Too late!
SO INPUT! Please. I really want to know what you all think of this entry. Advice maybe?
Well until next entry Behave for now ok???
ps. Tell me what you been up to.
First off, can I make a comment about a comment I recieved from Trevor? I am for sale on froogle. Is that some sorta practical joke? Or is that for real? If you are curious refer to my last entry, page two. Its quite amusing. Creepy, but I guess I can laugh.
Oh, and welcome back Avalari. My dearest hunny bunches of oats has been MIA.
Missed you so much!
I know DerangedMichy is prolly a lil jealous... here is some love for you too my Hot Tamale
.
Ok... now on with the serious stuff.
(I wrote this while I was on the train, since I missed SG so much!)
So maybe its the season? Or maybe I've been spoiled rotten for the last two years?
I think "greedy" is the adjective that would explain my absolute feeling lately. Maybe even "selfish" is a better word? Well shall I go on?
Ok.
Well I guess it is selfish of me to say that I havent been feeling special lately. I know my BF and I are on a tight ass budget due to the holiday season, school, and bills. Expenses are a tad bit short. Understandable. I wish, somewhere in between my BF did have time for me, and visa versa. Even a little suprise would do me in. Something small, like a note, a card, a picked flower (where the freaknits would he find one?), just something to say "Hey you are still on my mind."
I think it is wrong for me to feel this way. Its kinda selfish of me to feel so neglected, when Im not. My BF does a lot of things for me. Things I over look I guess. My mind knows it, but my heart isnt satisfied. I guess no one is really ever satisfied, everyone always wants more.
On top of that this is the first Xmas atleast from what I can remember actually wanting something. Usually I find it super freakin fun buying things for other people. I still do, its just so frustrating this year. Coz of my wants and needs. SELFISH, have I said that enough?
I dont really want anyone buying me anything. The fact is, I wanna buy my self everything! Its just gonna take longer than usual. I have to buy presents for everyone first. I do wrap something for myself every Xmas though. Just to amaze myself... how silly I really am.
I do have an Xmas list this year of wants and objectives. Here are a few things on that list: (For the curious ones)
1. Paul Frank "Julius" Pink Ked Shoes (size 4-5).
2. More funky neck ties to add to my collection.
3. Everyone in my family donate $10-$20 dollars to me instead of a present so I can pay for school.
4. More leg warmers.
5. John Legend CD.
6. Elf DVD.
7. Digital Camera.
8. Camcorder.
9. Laptop or new PC.
10. Monchichi Dolls on my wishlist.
11. Take Japanese classes.
12. Spend more time with my art.
13. The new NOKIA 6820 (better version of my 6800)
More.... I will make a final one this week.
Argh. Art thing. I finally realized, and SG has a huge influence, that maybe I should go back into my art thingy majigy. Its been a while since I really took the time to be creative. I was maybe even think if doing it on the side, while I figure if I wanna study Zoology or Architecture?! I dont ever want to lose that side of me... I want to take a few art classes... photography? drawings? stuff like that. Things I can do on the side ya know?
Oh so many things about me. Things I havent quite figured out. I wish I can just randomly write words that I feel define me. I wanna know what makes me, me!
I am an artist, a writer... Im spacy, gullable... I am silly, moody... I am so much... but I am me. I think wanting to feel like myself has been bothering me. I couldnt quite grasp it... sometimes I want to experience life alone, but I know myself too much... after a few days I will get tired of it. Like a child with a toy... Argh. I think I need therapy. Seriously. I dont know what it really is thats bothering me? And life couldnt be any better!?
Well. I was gonna add things I like about me, and things I hate about me... but maybe another entry? Part II? I just dont want you guys drifting off into space... oops! Too late!
SO INPUT! Please. I really want to know what you all think of this entry. Advice maybe?
Well until next entry
Behave for now ok???
ps. Tell me what you been up to.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
Anyway, The fourth quarter of the year is usually when the "big dogs" release their albums. (Em, Snoop, Nas, Luda, Cam, etc...) Because as you know people are kind of short on money this time of year and are picky about what they buy. It's weird for a rookie artist (rookie only in the sense that it is his first album. I heard "I used to luv you" about a year ago on Kanye's mix tape.) on a major label to release an album. That's all. Sorry for assuming you were as big a nerd as I am.