Damn Dilemma!
So ok, I had a great weekend. Saturday hung out at the mall for a little bit to shop for work clothes. Then went to the movies later that night, Resident Evil 2 just incase you were wondering. Yea I know I am a bit late watching that damn movie! Hee hee hee. Well going on with the weekend, Sunday I went apple picking with the family. Went to the dollar store to get trash bags and stuff like that with them... took a nap and then made my first batch of Candy Apples! They came out ok, yummy either way... and I had to bring some by mom mom's house for my little sisters. Today. I slept all day. I miss the days I didnt have a job. Hee hee. Sleeping all day rocks!
Well anyways, what dilemma right?
Am I even spelling that right? Let me know if I need to correct dilemma. Anyways this upcoming problem has always been a huge issure of mine... from day one of me and my BF's relationship.
Let me state that I hate my BF's ex girlfriend. She just turned 18 first off... meaning when my BF was 20, she was 15! Okie I shouldnt judge first off, so in the back of my mind, when he was trashing her the first week we were going out, I tried to understand the situation. I was like she is only 16-17 (by the time we dated) let her be... its not her falut for being so naive. Then out of no where this lil bitch started talking shit to everyone about me! After I started feeling pity for her! So that day it was on.
She always tried to come over here, and to my job, but always missed me by a few minutes. Dumb bitch, I would whoop that slutty ass of hers!
Anyways, a year and a half goes by... and deep in my heart I know they still talk and meet up... eventhough he denies it. And trust me, when a girl has those feelings 90% of the time she is right! Its even proven in some research. To make a long story short, they were. He was lying to me for a while... he said she needed some sort of advice coz she was pregnant with her BF... and needed advice from him and wanted my BF to be there for her. I am understanding, but dont you think that is stepping over the lines? Not only that, her intentions were different!
Anyways... a week b4 me and my BF broke up they were meeting up when I was taking my naps around 4am... ugh. It kills me, I never had anyone to even talk me through this. I still hold it deep inside me. Anyways, me and my BF broke up for a while, but fate somehow worked its magic and I gave him another chance. Since then he's been real good to me. I still dont trust him too much, and I still have my breakdowns. I just dont show it to him anymore. Either way I probably wouldnt believe him.
Well my point is, that Saturday we came home from the movies her dumbass calls 2:16 am... first she hangs up coz she calls with her #, then she blocks it and calls again... Well They argue back and forth... and now I am stuck, with why is she calling? I havent been home to see if my BF has been doing anything for me to feel he is doing it again.
I have many friends, but sometimes I feel they are not all their with me. They are more into materialistic stuff, and some of em cant advice me. I wish I really had someone to just talk this out with... I mean the whole long story that is about 2 years old already. There is so much more to this story, so if you're thinking I am just some dumb foolish girl. I am not. I am just looking for advice.
I hate the fact this dilemma has resurrected from the dead. I hate myself sometimes. Why cant love just exist the way I want it! It was screwed up with my mom and everything else good in my life. Maybe I am not as sane as I believed I finally was. Damn depression, I dont want to fall back into that again. I want my life to go on... I want to keep running. Maybe I am going to be a runaway for the rest of my life?
Feel free to comment. Or trash me. Or talk about something else.
Ps. If enough of you suggests therapy, I will go do it.
Here is mythread of the day
So ok, I had a great weekend. Saturday hung out at the mall for a little bit to shop for work clothes. Then went to the movies later that night, Resident Evil 2 just incase you were wondering. Yea I know I am a bit late watching that damn movie! Hee hee hee. Well going on with the weekend, Sunday I went apple picking with the family. Went to the dollar store to get trash bags and stuff like that with them... took a nap and then made my first batch of Candy Apples! They came out ok, yummy either way... and I had to bring some by mom mom's house for my little sisters. Today. I slept all day. I miss the days I didnt have a job. Hee hee. Sleeping all day rocks!
Well anyways, what dilemma right?
Am I even spelling that right? Let me know if I need to correct dilemma. Anyways this upcoming problem has always been a huge issure of mine... from day one of me and my BF's relationship.
Let me state that I hate my BF's ex girlfriend. She just turned 18 first off... meaning when my BF was 20, she was 15! Okie I shouldnt judge first off, so in the back of my mind, when he was trashing her the first week we were going out, I tried to understand the situation. I was like she is only 16-17 (by the time we dated) let her be... its not her falut for being so naive. Then out of no where this lil bitch started talking shit to everyone about me! After I started feeling pity for her! So that day it was on.
She always tried to come over here, and to my job, but always missed me by a few minutes. Dumb bitch, I would whoop that slutty ass of hers!
Anyways, a year and a half goes by... and deep in my heart I know they still talk and meet up... eventhough he denies it. And trust me, when a girl has those feelings 90% of the time she is right! Its even proven in some research. To make a long story short, they were. He was lying to me for a while... he said she needed some sort of advice coz she was pregnant with her BF... and needed advice from him and wanted my BF to be there for her. I am understanding, but dont you think that is stepping over the lines? Not only that, her intentions were different!
Anyways... a week b4 me and my BF broke up they were meeting up when I was taking my naps around 4am... ugh. It kills me, I never had anyone to even talk me through this. I still hold it deep inside me. Anyways, me and my BF broke up for a while, but fate somehow worked its magic and I gave him another chance. Since then he's been real good to me. I still dont trust him too much, and I still have my breakdowns. I just dont show it to him anymore. Either way I probably wouldnt believe him.
Well my point is, that Saturday we came home from the movies her dumbass calls 2:16 am... first she hangs up coz she calls with her #, then she blocks it and calls again... Well They argue back and forth... and now I am stuck, with why is she calling? I havent been home to see if my BF has been doing anything for me to feel he is doing it again.
I have many friends, but sometimes I feel they are not all their with me. They are more into materialistic stuff, and some of em cant advice me. I wish I really had someone to just talk this out with... I mean the whole long story that is about 2 years old already. There is so much more to this story, so if you're thinking I am just some dumb foolish girl. I am not. I am just looking for advice.
I hate the fact this dilemma has resurrected from the dead. I hate myself sometimes. Why cant love just exist the way I want it! It was screwed up with my mom and everything else good in my life. Maybe I am not as sane as I believed I finally was. Damn depression, I dont want to fall back into that again. I want my life to go on... I want to keep running. Maybe I am going to be a runaway for the rest of my life?
Feel free to comment. Or trash me. Or talk about something else.
Ps. If enough of you suggests therapy, I will go do it.
Here is mythread of the day
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
sucks, but what's his track record?