My favorite song is Flightless Bird, American Mouth. By Iron and Wine. Can you see where I got my name? This song is actually from the Twilight movies, yes I am a complete "twi-hard" even though they came out a couple years ago. The first time I hears the song was in the very first Twilight movie at the end of it when Bella and Edward are dancing at prom. From then on, I can't say that I have gotten tired of hearing it. Every time it comes on I melt.
This song to me is much bigger than just from a movie. It has special meaning to me because I see it as being a song about coming in to who you are. I am still trying to find myself and don't think I ever really will, but that is the beauty of life isn't it?
Here is an interpretation of the song that I found...
I was an innocent child who believed he had all the answers. I was superficial, searching for all the wrong things that I thought would bring happiness. Everyone wanted a piece of what I believed was really me. All they really wanted was to benefit from the person I blindly thought myself to be. When I realized my own delusion of myself, and who I am, I began to change into the person I truly am, the person I want to be, the person I've always been, but couldn't see through the eyes of my own unawareness. Confused, I sought a way to make sense of my confusion, my pain. Desperately, I clung to anything to help confirm who I am. I wanted all this pain to be just in my mind, not real. Am I the me I think I am? I don't have that internal strength I need. I'm jealous of blissful ignorance. It is better to not have to deal with my demons. And this is so hard to come to terms with - who I thought I was versus who I really am. Did I lose myself? I can lose myself so easily. All it takes is a crutch to ease this pain. This pain is endless, my safety exists only when I'm alone in my safe place. I enable my self-pity. But can't ignore it forever. I know that I can't forever hide, but the temptation is so inviting to forget the pain away. The pain always creeps back in. It ruins everything I know isn't, but want to believe, is true. I try to forget, so many ways, any way to make me believe I am masking my hurt away, using a pleasant veil so maybe they will believe. Then maybe I can, too. Am I the me I think I am? I don't have the strength to fight it anymore. I'm aware, but the awareness is so painful. But maybe I can just lose myself, one more temporarily gratifying time. All it takes is a crutch to ease this pain.
