OMG! I'm freaking out right now! I can't believe what I just did! I came out to my parents! Holy Shit! Everything seems so surreal right now. Isn't it supposed to feel like a ton of bricks were lifted from me once I did this? It doesn't. In fact I feel even more stressed out now. 
I felt forced into it. I really wish I could have told them on my own terms but it really didn't work out that way. My mother rode with my girlfriend and I to Mexico to get my tooth worked on at a Dentist. By the end of the trip she figured out that my girlfriend was gay and asked if shes ever hit on me. It was wierd. She said she could just tell by looking at her, I think that is bullshit. The good thing is my mother got a chance to get to know her by waiting with her in the waiting room. They got along really well and my mother said she liked her........that is before I dropped the bomb.
While sitting with my folks and having them drill me on her sexuality I felt the pressure. Eventually I just blurted it out. "She's my girlfriend. I might as well be honest." Things get a little fuzzy here. I don't remember hearing too much except my heart which was going to beat out of my chest. My Dad kept kinda quiet and my mom started acting strange saying she knew all along about me and that I was a Lesbian. Wait, back that up, what did she just say? Lesbian? First of all I'm not one for labels but second of all I've never once thought of myself as a lesbian. She kept saying to me to be honest with myself that I need to just admit it.
We argued about this for a while. How dare she tell me who I am!
Yes I prefer women but hey, I've dated men too! I don't particularly like the dick but hell, I was in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. I'm not that stupid to put up with something I didn't want for that long just to cover shit up. I've had a fare share of male relationships and female relationships. They all meant something different to me, no regrets. I truly believe that I can fall in love with anyone's soul if it's meant to be on that level. I'm a loving person. I'm not going to deny my heart anything just because of a persons sex.
I could definately marry or be with a woman the rest of my life. I could just as well be with a man. Either way I don't need anyone else making decisions for me of what my sexuality is. It doesn't fucking matter!
But she kept on arguing with me about that. My dad still kept quiet but did say that I had strange taste, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? My mother started teasing me about things when I lived in SF a few years back and just recently it got worse. She's even said she thinks I would be the male in a relationship. So not only does she insist that I'm a lesbian but I'm a butch lesbian as well, WTF!
My friends don't think I should be offended. I'm not really offended just pissed that she's telling me who I am. I guess things could be worse. They didn't freak out or get mad. Just accused me of things. I guess I could be so lucky. I haven't spoken to them sice this happened because I've been out on shoots working on the movie. But eventually I'm going to be around them and I'm nervous. I'm scared things are going to be different. I know it's going to be uncomfortable for a while but I just hope they aren't mad or dissapointed in me. I thought the worst was over, I hope that's true. I guess I'll just have to hold my head high and deal with things as they're dealt.
I do hope though that they don't treat my girlfriend badly or make me feel wierd about my relationship with her. I have deep feelings for her. I really like her a lot and don't want anything to change that. I think she's beautiful inside and out. Right now she is my world.
::big sigh:: 
I felt forced into it. I really wish I could have told them on my own terms but it really didn't work out that way. My mother rode with my girlfriend and I to Mexico to get my tooth worked on at a Dentist. By the end of the trip she figured out that my girlfriend was gay and asked if shes ever hit on me. It was wierd. She said she could just tell by looking at her, I think that is bullshit. The good thing is my mother got a chance to get to know her by waiting with her in the waiting room. They got along really well and my mother said she liked her........that is before I dropped the bomb.
While sitting with my folks and having them drill me on her sexuality I felt the pressure. Eventually I just blurted it out. "She's my girlfriend. I might as well be honest." Things get a little fuzzy here. I don't remember hearing too much except my heart which was going to beat out of my chest. My Dad kept kinda quiet and my mom started acting strange saying she knew all along about me and that I was a Lesbian. Wait, back that up, what did she just say? Lesbian? First of all I'm not one for labels but second of all I've never once thought of myself as a lesbian. She kept saying to me to be honest with myself that I need to just admit it.
We argued about this for a while. How dare she tell me who I am!
Yes I prefer women but hey, I've dated men too! I don't particularly like the dick but hell, I was in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. I'm not that stupid to put up with something I didn't want for that long just to cover shit up. I've had a fare share of male relationships and female relationships. They all meant something different to me, no regrets. I truly believe that I can fall in love with anyone's soul if it's meant to be on that level. I'm a loving person. I'm not going to deny my heart anything just because of a persons sex.
I could definately marry or be with a woman the rest of my life. I could just as well be with a man. Either way I don't need anyone else making decisions for me of what my sexuality is. It doesn't fucking matter!
But she kept on arguing with me about that. My dad still kept quiet but did say that I had strange taste, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? My mother started teasing me about things when I lived in SF a few years back and just recently it got worse. She's even said she thinks I would be the male in a relationship. So not only does she insist that I'm a lesbian but I'm a butch lesbian as well, WTF!
My friends don't think I should be offended. I'm not really offended just pissed that she's telling me who I am. I guess things could be worse. They didn't freak out or get mad. Just accused me of things. I guess I could be so lucky. I haven't spoken to them sice this happened because I've been out on shoots working on the movie. But eventually I'm going to be around them and I'm nervous. I'm scared things are going to be different. I know it's going to be uncomfortable for a while but I just hope they aren't mad or dissapointed in me. I thought the worst was over, I hope that's true. I guess I'll just have to hold my head high and deal with things as they're dealt.
I do hope though that they don't treat my girlfriend badly or make me feel wierd about my relationship with her. I have deep feelings for her. I really like her a lot and don't want anything to change that. I think she's beautiful inside and out. Right now she is my world.
::big sigh::
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Mind if I chime in? I dunno, maybe you've come across a post or two of mine, but I'll just assume that you're wondering who the hell I am to be posting in your journal....
#1- Congrats on coming out...to your parents, no less.... I feel thats the toughest one of all... so yaay for you.
#2- Now this is just a visceral gut feeling I get from reading about the hours after telling them... Your mom may be "labeling" in an effort to gain some comfort from saying it outloud....and maybe further adding the "butch" label as a way to grasp the concept that her child is sexual, and wondering what that means to her. I don't really think she was trying to box you into the "label maker" as much as she was trying to become accustom to the reality that her daughter is not straight.
#3- this ones a bit more complicated, and I may be projecting, so just blow me off if it doesn't make sense....
parents, by virtue of their generation have a hard time coping with their kids sexuality in general (they are in their 50-60's noh?)if they learn their children are sexual...they don't want to think about it... but they resign themselves to it. Now add in the gay/lesbian factor. the concept is one they can grasp, eventually they work it out through their heads. Now add that you are sexual with a person because of their being...not their gender and all hell breaks loose.... they cannot grasp the notion that gender is irrelevant.... because of their lifes experience, you are either one or the other...
#3 Give it a bit of time, let mom label you any way she can in order to come to terms with it. over time, she will grow and the two of you can come to a deeper understanding about who you are....no boxes, no labels, just you in all your glory... she will see that you are an amazing spirit who is capable of loving others for their soulfullness.
#4 I think mom...even in her determination to box you in is doing a damn good job. She is at least trying to accept/understand.... let's face it... mom could be labeling you "sick. demented, perverted". It seems to me that she's at least willing to love you no matter what...
#5 It took my parents a long time to deal with my sexuality... I married a man, but have had more female lovers than male, many after being married (we have a poly marriage)so not only did they have to come to terms with my sexuality...but they had to deal with (but still do not accept) that my marriage was not "traditional" as they know it...
Either way...yaay for you!!!
Gracie