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fistfuck

Texas

Hopeful Since 2006

Followers 1379 Following 1037

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Sunday Oct 09, 2011

Oct 9, 2011
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Yeah, I need to blog.

I don't think I have done a proper blog in a long time, months? year? I have been ok for the most part. Don't worry about me being perpetually depressed or something. Mainly really busy with lots of work and lots of raising kids. I am really really happy where I am at work, I feel valued and appreciated and get along with all the other designers really well, unfortunately the boyfriend, who is also a designer, isn't as fortunate - and its caused quite a rift in our relationship. I think it might have something to do with the fact that he worked his ass of all throughout school and college, and therefore deserves to find a awesome place to work - and i kind of well, sailed through college. Its been a great source of stress, and thats where my previous blog came from. Hopefully no-one got too worried.

I am trying to alleviate stress from my life, my cardiologist doesn't want me feeling to stressed out.... its bad for my already deteriorated heart. I seem to have lost a good amount of weight, not like i can really stand to lose any - sucks to always lose weight in whatever little boobies i do have, and whatever shape i had managed to get. Now im sucking down protein/weight gainer drinks trying to build something back up. It doesn't work well, lots of people eat with stressed/depressed - I am the opposite.

Lets see, what I have done, we saw Jamie Lidell months ago up... he was awesome... anyone heard of him?


Went to seem my beloved Frank Turner a few days ago, the second time I have seen him, and this time i stayed to meet him. His music speaks to me on a level that most other musicians don't. This is the song that has been playing in my head nonstop since his new album came out... cant find a good live video of it...


We also did ACL a few weeks ago... Kanye West was one of the highlights (most people don't expect me to like him - but i do!) - he was awesome. As was Chromeo, Broken Social Scene, etc etc, and many others.

In a hope to not go into a relationship rant, I just have to get something out. I know dating a woman with kids must be really hard, but its hard for me too - being the mom. Even if i a family wasnt want that person wanted at the moment, I kind of am a package deal - and worry that my children are being resented is taking quite a toll. I don't like hearing about how he wishes that we didn't have kids quite yet so there would be more time for "us" - theres really no point in even saying you wish it - its just not true, its not going to happen. Why even bring up how i put the kids before you, what would anyone expect? Would a man truly want to date a woman who doesn't put their kids first - what kind of mom would that be? And BTW, why after working at an office for almost 4 years would he never have let me meet a single person he works with, they don't even know i exist! He has met everyone i work with at several christmas parties and different get togethers. Do you think he is ashamed? Did i do something? He claims he doesn't like them and doesn't want to make me endure - but im not quite sure. /end rant.

I had session #5 on my 3/4 sleeve by the most talented Chris Trevino earlier this week.... collar bone... OUCH. fucking ouch. as in i will never get my other one done. We are pretty much done with the black and that means my next session will be color! Finally! My octopus will be in reds, and I am psyched!!!!


Here's some more pics from the past who knows what... the relatively not far away past...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


beach.


beach.


beach. ok, i would probably live in a bikini on the beach if it were possible.


tubing the comal river


beach.


me and my beloved doggy, Akira. She is a boxer/bull mix and completely adorable, sweet and cuddly. My greatest protector.



What have you guys been up to?

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
xarian:
All hail the beach smile
Oct 10, 2011
infinity:
It really isn't fair that someone did better in school but doesn't have as good of a job but those kinds of things do happen especially with the way how things are right now. There are people I went to school with who didn't do anywhere near as well as I did in classes but they arguably have better jobs right now. Some of them are jobs I wouldn't ever take for whatever reason but they can be considered better because they're with a certain company, pay more or something else. Point being that yes it's not fair but that is how these things go sometimes.

I kind of do see where he is coming from in wishing that you two could have more time to yourselves, but still in that kind of a situation I would expect the mother to be dedicating her time mostly to the kids with the relationship being a second priority. It would at first take some getting used to but over time he should be able to figure out the way things are and adapt to it. Understandably there would still be some frustration on his part no matter what but still there should be some level of understanding.

It is strange that he wouldn't introduce you to any of his coworkers. Could be that he genuinely does dislike them. That does happen and I have been there before - when work really sucked it spilled over into the rest of my life and that was just awful. Maybe it could be something else, maybe not.
Oct 10, 2011

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