firstinheaven

Recently I came back to a world I once called home, I felt like a young prince returning to his kingdom after many years conquering other's lands. The blood from those many victories still fresh in mind and spirit. I came seeking love, Love of family and friends that I had not seen in years Love that one could not find where I had been. What I was met with was a hate and fear that I had thought were only reserved for monsters and Devils. I had forgetting in my time away from this place that this was the battlefield I had trained on and its scars still ran deep with those I had cut. At first I was consumed by anger and fueled by the fire I had learned to channel towards my enemies and I lashed out at them all unable to see the truth in their eyes as their swords and whips fell before me as they had done years before. Many lost their ties to me unfortunately even my three year old son was among their number, wielded as a weapon by a very hurt woman from my past. Even then I couldn't see past the rage, past the pain I couldn't see the truth. Then in the midst of this battle through the hurt and chaos I saw a hint of what I was missing. It gleamed like a lighthouse beacon on a foggy, stormy coast. There reflected in the eye of my last victim I saw the Devil I had become and the monster that would consume me, I saw the truth and I feared it. I stopped fighting and ran, seeking the safety of seclusion in shadow in obscurity. Hoping an escape from the mirrors in man's eye. I found no such place, no such safety, instead I found myself staring into my own reflection wondering how I had fallen so far, so deep and wondering if I could ever crawl out of this place. Months later I find myself slowly emerging from that chapel perilous and I wonder if this is how a phoenix must feel as it rises from its own ashes, does it feel dirty like it cheated death or does it just feel alive. Does it remember the past or is it born again as a child. Most importantly does it remember why it died last time or why it is destined to be reborn? We will see, for now though I think its time to fly.