fireluver

Alright, so the answer is no! I haven't dropped off the face of the earth! I've just been super duper crazy slammed at work, and even somewhat super duper crazy in my life, too.

My boss, the one that was driving me to absolute insanity, QUIT! So, I've been dealing with things on my own for a couple weeks. I think we have found her replacement, which is a good thing. The best part about it is that her replacement is like my second Mom! I've known her since I was 10 years old and she has been one of my Mom's best friends forever! So, she will be working with me starting in June I think. That's a great thing because my old boss was beginning to treat me like her "slave" instead of her assistant. "Go unload my car for me." "Go over here and pick this up for me." "While you are at Walmart I need you to pick up a present for a bday party my daughter is going to tonight." I mean, the list goes on and on. By the time she quit she was firing orders at me. Not asking me to do something, TELLING ME! So, long story short, I couldn't be happier about my current work situation and how it will be changed, but I've been WAYYYYYYYY BUSY!

My oldest daughter, who is almost 16 has also been giving me some problems. She's been doing drugs with some of her "friends" and I caught her for the second time. I had to put my foot down and get her into a treatment program. This has been very hard for me because my daughter is so beautiful and so smart. She completely knows better, but she is just very easily influenced by her "friends". She's going to be in treatment for the next four months, which means one on one counseling, group counseling, family sessions, and drug testing every four weeks. She will also have to volunteer over the entire summer at a children's program without getting paid. I'm hoping this will get her on the right track. My daughter's Father commited suicide when she was only four years old. He actually left the State before she was even born, so she never knew her Father. But, the one thing that she does have is the genetics from him. He was VERY DEPRESSED, (obviously), and she has the same thing. Her Doctor put her on an antidepressent, and she has been a completely different kid since then. So, things are going the right way, they've just been very heartbreaking and disappointing. I've also battled those feelings of "I'm a terrible Mom." But, I know that I didn't cause this and I've just tried to remain calm so that I can help her.

For the past few months I've been with someone who is incredible and very special to me. Just when I thought I'd have to settle for a little less than what I really wanted, he came along. I've never been so respected, cherished, pampered, loved and cared for, EVER! The things that most guys I'd date would have "problems" with, he's never even mentioned. It's so amazing and I really am just enjoying him and enjoying my relationship. I didn't think it would ever happen, and it's real. All I can say is I think I'm done. I'm done looking, I'm done wondering, I'm done with thinking that there MUST be someone better for me. He is really all I have ever wanted, all wrapped up in one HOT GUY! And, not that anyone wants to know or hear this, but our physical relationship is the best I've ever had. From the first time we were together, it's just felt like we've been together for my whole life. There has been no weirdness, no shyness, no feeling of needing or wanting something different. I am 100% satisfied and I just can't get enough of him!

Well, once again, I am working like a busy little beaver at work on our upcoming fundraiser. It is our 20th year, and this fundraiser is where the majority of our funding comes from. We currently have 350+ kids in cancer treatment right now at UNM Hospital. This past week, one of our older children, (he's 17) was taken off of his chemo drugs because he's not getting any better. They have given him only a few days to a week to live. He is in the hospital ALONE! His family lives in another city and his Mom hasn't been around for years. He only has his Aunt, who also has children of her own, so she can not be with him everyday. HE IS DYING ALL ALONE!!! This makes me so sad, and so angry all at the same time. This past week when we were at the hospital, we asked what we could do for him. He wanted a Recliner because when these kids are dying, it's very uncomfortable to lay in a bed. So, I checked around and my sister had one that she was willing to part with so that he could be comfortable. We got the recliner and took it over to the hospital two days ago. When we went into his room, he could not speak because he was so weak and in so much pain. He could not get up from his bed on his own, though he did try. The nurse helped him into the Recliner and this kid, through all his pain, smiled from ear to ear. He just sat and smiled the entire time. We left he room and he was still smiling. This is a perfect example of what we do at my job. The Children's Cancer Fund of New Mexico is the only organization in the State that helps families and children directly. No questions asked. No approval process. If you have a child who has cancer, we are here to help you with anything you need. So, if you know anyone who would like to be part of this fundraiser, who would like to contribute money, who would like to donate an item to our auction, please email me today. You can make a HUGE difference in these kids lives!!!

Well, I love you all and I miss you all and I'm sorry I've been so out of touch.