fireflame

I got accepted as an alternate into the Consumer Provider Program! I'm ACCEPTED!!!!!! Yay! That means school instead of a full-time job, but I can suffer poverty for a few months more if it means higher salary at the end of my schooling and a job that I'll love instead of hate. Yay!
So update: I decided not to go to beauty school. It's too fucking superficial. I might be able to get a parttime job with help from Mass Rehab, and my employer would know that I'm coming in with a disability and that I was on S.S. so that I won't have to explain EVERYTHING from square one if I get sick. Otherwise maybe they'll be more patient with my training and I'll be able to go from stunted to swimmingly in a shorter period of time.
It all seems GOOD! I'm excited!
I just have to figure out how I'm gonna feel working parttime. But hey, I'll have time for homework and I finally get a taste of REAL life again. I feel like I've been living in Wonderland for the last few months. So much has happened and so much HASN'T that I'm not sure WHAT'S real anymore sometimes. lol Like is it real how much I've been getting paid? Who can live off of $460/month? Is it real how much time I've spent alone and looking for a job? Is it real that I've designed a whole tattoo forearm sleeve and I'm gonna actually get it done as soon as I can afford it and I've already found a tattoo artist? Is it true that my hair's been pink, then orange? Is it true I got a septum piercing? Is it true that I'm fucking happy as hell in spite of my crazy stepmother who wants me dead? WOW. That one really hit home. Is it true that I'm going to be studying full time in September? Fucking YES! It is!
Things are constantly changing like the flow of a river. If you stand in one place you are never going to feel the same water twice as it shoots past your limbs into the downflow of the ocean. It's beautiful I think, how things change. I LOOK like a punk, but I definitely have wisdom, and I'm strong and respectful and STRAIGHT in spite of what people think. I love how some things are also not what they seem.
I got hit on by this cute lesbian yesterday. She was hot, and while I'm not gay I sure appreciated someone appreciating my bod and my style. I get compliments every day on my hair. This is definitely the city to dye it in. lol Someone said I reminded them of Annie Lenox. That was cool.
So things DO get better, and they get bad, but the point is that they CHANGE. It'll never be the EXACT same twice. Even if it feels like it with deja vu. lol
So life is still beautiful.
Hope you're all doing well, and that life is treating you well, and if it isn't remember "everything changes, so too will this pass".
Love y'all.

~fireflame