fireflame

Yeah. So that guy hadn't called me for about 5 days, and you know what? I wasn't missing him. I don't know why. What's wrong with me? He seems so cool so why am I not all over him like peanut butter on bread? LOL I don't know. I wasn't turned on by him either. I keep telling myself that it's because these things take time, but.... But I'm not sure. Am I really attracted to him? Yeah, he's a cutie, but cute-bunny cutie, not hott-cutie. Blah. Am I getting too technical?
Anyway, so I may see him this week. Or I may not. And for some reason I don't care. But you know what? I AM mad that he didn't call me sooner. Am I not fucked up like that, huh.
I miss my last boyfriend: the way he used to cuddle and hold me, the way he smelled, his big cock, the way he looked at me and how I felt close to him without even trying. Is it wrong to miss that? He used to tell me that I was this girl he knew in a past life. He said he felt close to me from the first time he saw me and that (if I was this girl) I was the one he would have married if class and his sister had not been involved. Kind of fucked because incest and licentiousness was involved, but romantic. He slept with a lot of people in that life, but his heart lay with me (if I was this girl) and the aim of the story was that it still could lie with me. And God help me, but I cared for him even against my moral standing. I broke up with him though, because I knew he couldn't be the man I wanted him to be and that as I am now that I couldn't be with him and still live ethically and fortunately or unfortunately (however you want to see it) ethics and morals are valuable to me in this life. I miss him though.
So much for that. I pray that he'll overcome his difficulties in this life and that I'll see him in the ever after (the othe side) when it's over. You know when you meet someone that you know that you're still with them somehow no matter where you both are? That somehow you'll still be there with each other in your hearts. yeah. I know people like that.