Okay so London last weekend with the boy was awesome. We got there on the friday early afternoon, and got into our swanky hotel, with a cracking few of central London (right at the London Eye etc). This hotel was seriously posh. The staff were so well mannered and respectful, even though i'm clearly a brash scottish lassie who one might judge quickly. We spent the afternoon having some crazy hotel sex, then went out looking onto the Thames with a spliff. We then went out to dinner, then on a pub crawl. That night we went to Fabric night club. Scratch Perverts, Benga, Andy C and Ed Rush were all playing. We queued for over an hour and a half, and the prices were extortionate, but the atmosphere was awesome. And I kinda loved just dancing the night away with the boy, knowing it's just me and him there that we know. By the time it got to 5am, I was exhausted so we left and went back to the hotel. He had to put up with my pathetic tired moaning on the walk back. Achey muscles, lack of sleep and sore feet does not equal a happy aliceee. On the Saurday we spent all afternoon wandering around camden market, it was a good thing I had no money otherwise I could have spent a fortune that day! That night we went out for an amaaazing meal then went back to the hotel for some alone time. On the Sunday we wandered around countless museums, then headed back home. All in all, a lovely weekend, but I wish I wasn't so exhausted all weekend.
Since I got back i've not got much to report. I've been studying hard as i've got my exams this week. Finally! I hope they go well, they're pretty important.
Lately i've not been feeling too great about myself. Spoiler'd so you don't need to read my pathetic ramblings if you don't want to.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)Im feeling really dissatisfied with life right now. The clothes I wear, the music I listen to, my daily routine, my lack of will power with exercise, my lack of money, im not even happy with my current social life. For so long, all this shit was holding me back to do what I want. Next month Ill be able to get a part time job again, earning my own keep. I dont even know where I want to work. I love my flat, but I wish it was in Edinburgh. Im sick of the small-town judgement. I hate that Im at stirling uni, its just too far, and for being a person that loves to meet new people, Ive failed to even try and socialise with anyone at uni yet. Its a treck, its lonely, and travel costs bleed me dry. Its what I want to do, dont get me wrong. I just, my life feels like Ive been fidgeting too long and need to get up and do something. I want to have a good social group of friends again, I have these friends, I just kinda disappeared into the background. Not their fault, its all mines. I never realised how much Ive been isolating myself in the past year. I want to be financially secure. Student loans and part time work that I enjoy, enough to get me by and enough to have some fun too. Not just enough to survive, and sit alone in my flat with no money. All my clothes are so old, as Ive not had money to spend on myself properly in a while, which is just how it goes, but slowly and slowly Ive been getting more insecure, like I used to be. I want to be confident, and sexy. I seem to have thrown away any creativity that I once had. I want to be creative, get back into my artwork, drawing, poetry, and Id love love love to gain back any musical talent. I used to have a great voice, and Id always put it down, now Ive lost that voice, and singing seems to be all I want to do. If anyone creative wants to be my friend/pen pal, who wants to keep me inspired, please contact me. Its time I got a life again, and loved every minute of it. I need to be grateful, and happy and not let things get on top of me. I need to stick at it with uni work, but also maintain a social life. I need quality time with my boyfriend, not just sitting in bickering because weve been stuck in the house for 5 days straight. Dont get me wrong, I adore his company. But I get really anxious to go out these days, but Ive never admitted it until now, so it was easy to just spend all my time with the boy, but then hell only see me at my worst, and were better than that. I want this year to be fucking awesome, and not a struggle, or not just get past these few months and things will get better. I want to live the life that every other 18-24 year old I know is living. I seriously act too much like a old woman these days. Make every day count Alice! And do what you want without stopping yourself with pathetic insecure excuses. I know this is such a pathetic winge, but I feel so frustrated, and bored of myself. I want someone to kick me up the arse and remind me who I used to be!
So yeh, other than that i've not much to say. I wish my blogs weren't so boring looking. Now my camera has broken, all these words seem so dull. I deeply miss having a photographic record of my goings on. If only I had the money for a new camera.. 
I hope everyone is well, and I will post to let you know how I feel my exams went at the end of the week.
Love you all SG friends
-x
I explained about kitkat which Yui's showing on her journal.
Glad you had a good time in London
It's difficult to find a happy balance, have you thought about moving to another uni that's in Edinburgh?