filmme

How does one deal with being judged unfairly? Even by himself?

Okay. So here's a looong story. Or maybe it wont be long. but like.. Ill just start typing.

I was with this girl, see. "M"

She was good. She was my best friend.

M and I didnt have a very physical relationship at all. In fact, some would say the relationship side of what we had was the worst part of it. If we were just buddies, it might have been easier and it certainly would be a lot better now.

Her dad and my stepdad got sick with cancer pretty closely to one another. Her dad went downhill fast and died in the early part of December last year. It really hit her hard.

At that point, any sort of relationship stuff went out the window and I was just concentrating on being her friend. Her tendonitis started acting up and it fucked up her ability to play music.

Pretty much, she was melting down and I couldnt help because I was drowning in my own mess of shit.

So we broke up. Rightly so. Why make it something we'll both regret?

Anyways.

I started dating another girl. A great girl. "T" Like... everyday I am with this person I learn how much more and more I want to be with her.

But she just lost it on me today because I havent found a way to slot my ex into my life. She not someone I dont want around.

Its weird... in the last like, twenty minutes since I started writing this, I have just relized that T is just someone that I wont let go. Her face would haunt me for the rest of my life if she went away because I didnt give her every single inch of my heart.

And im trying... But... I feel ten steps backwards because Ill never be able to prove to her that Im over it or that I have closure.

My ex... shes like... an old army buddy. We went through hell together.. and we'll always have that, yknow?

But how do I keep my respect and love, as well as the dark shitI have for M from clouding the reality of how much I am falling for T?

Does this make sense?