REFLECTIONS ON THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF OUR INVALIDATED MARRIAGE LICENSES
Molly McKay, EQCA Field Director
I woke up early this morning with a strange feeling of melancholy that my conscious mind initially could not explain. I snuggled closer to Davina and listened to her breathe. After almost nine years together, I am still crazy about her and feel a deep sense of gratitude to have her as my life partner, my wife -- that term triggered the explanation for my sadness. Today is the one year anniversary of the California Supreme Court decision declaring our cherished marriage licenses legally null and void.
I remember standing on the steps of the Supreme Court building, surrounded by my fellow married same-sex couples as they peered over my shoulder. I turned the pages with shaky hands and high hopes trying to determine what the court had decided to do with our marriage licenses. Initially, I turned to the dissent and read encouraging words, indicating perhaps they would leave the licenses in place until the California Supreme Court could decide the merits of the cases and challenge the discriminatory marriage laws that had been filed in the lower courts. My heart filled with joy.
I remember how quickly the tears came, when my eyes fell on the majority opinion mandating that the licenses be declared a legal nullity. My rational mind understood that the court's rulings focused only on the narrow question of whether San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom had the right to legalize same-sex marriage -- not the larger issue of whether the ban on such unions is constitutional but it still just hurt.
There was little time to reflect on the amazing month of marriages, how the air throughout San Francisco had literally buzzed with love and excitement and hope; how bouquets from around the country were delivered to couples standing in line; how Macys ran out of gold wedding bands. Microphones were thrust forward, How does it feel to have your licenses declared void? Didnt you expect this would happen? Are you mad at the mayor for doing this to you? It was time to take a collective deep breath, and the 4,000 couples who had been judicially divorced against their will, spoke out with one voice about how important this action had been to have the opportunity to experience equality to put a human face on the issue of marriage discrimination to show the world the real-life couples and their children, grandchildren and their extended family who were celebrating their long-time commitment, finally as spouses for life.
That day was a blur of interviews and community chapter calls, coordinating same-sex couples and supporters in 25 different counties to simultaneously get into the streets and speak out about the injustice of our inability to marry, to be unable to access the 1400 rights of marriage, and to be denied this civil right that others took for granted. I remember the demonstration outside the California Supreme Court building that night where Stuart and his fianc, still in their tuxes and leis, cried as they spoke of how the court order had issued just as they reached the front of the line for their appointment and how the community spontaneously responded by acknowledging them as spouses for life. I remember Mel and Dominic a binational straight couple that had stood in line with us and now stood alone in our crowd as the only ones left married. They shared a song they had written of their experience with us that made us laugh and remember how wonderful things had been.
As so many of you, I have many positive memories, friendships and experiences that resulted from those wonderful six months of being married. Today, I give thanks to the many heroes: Mayor Gavin Newsom, City Attorney Dennis Herrera, Assessor Mabel Teng, Clerk Nancy Alfano, Mayors staff Joe Caruso with his bullhorn and tissues, all of the deputy marriage commissioners and city staff that dedicated hours of non-stop work for us and the undauntable legal teams at NCLR, Lambda and ACLU (David Codell and the other pro bono lawyers involved in our cases continue to be our community's unsung heroes). Margaret Cho and Tuck and Patti performers who donated their talents to our cause the Marriage Caravan of EQCA volunteer leaders crossing the country in a bus talking about marriage equality to people across the heartland.
Today, I am taking a moment to reflect on how far we have come and deliberately recommitting to being a part of the rest of the fight for marriage equality to see it through to the end we all gay and straight - have the opportunity to be a part of making history and actually impacting whether that victory comes sooner or later. We are facing unbelievably cruel and heartless ballot measures that seek to eliminate all domestic partnership protections and permanently ban access to the courts and legislature to end marriage discrimination. The proposed constitutional amendments have no redeeming social value whatsoever it is an attack on tens of thousands of law-abiding, good citizens throughout California.
Please join our statewide searchable couples database to help us continue to put our faces, our stories, our lives to this fight. We need all hands on deck! Im still engaged, are you? For information on how to get involved with Equality California, click here.
Molly McKay, EQCA Field Director
I woke up early this morning with a strange feeling of melancholy that my conscious mind initially could not explain. I snuggled closer to Davina and listened to her breathe. After almost nine years together, I am still crazy about her and feel a deep sense of gratitude to have her as my life partner, my wife -- that term triggered the explanation for my sadness. Today is the one year anniversary of the California Supreme Court decision declaring our cherished marriage licenses legally null and void.
I remember standing on the steps of the Supreme Court building, surrounded by my fellow married same-sex couples as they peered over my shoulder. I turned the pages with shaky hands and high hopes trying to determine what the court had decided to do with our marriage licenses. Initially, I turned to the dissent and read encouraging words, indicating perhaps they would leave the licenses in place until the California Supreme Court could decide the merits of the cases and challenge the discriminatory marriage laws that had been filed in the lower courts. My heart filled with joy.
I remember how quickly the tears came, when my eyes fell on the majority opinion mandating that the licenses be declared a legal nullity. My rational mind understood that the court's rulings focused only on the narrow question of whether San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom had the right to legalize same-sex marriage -- not the larger issue of whether the ban on such unions is constitutional but it still just hurt.
There was little time to reflect on the amazing month of marriages, how the air throughout San Francisco had literally buzzed with love and excitement and hope; how bouquets from around the country were delivered to couples standing in line; how Macys ran out of gold wedding bands. Microphones were thrust forward, How does it feel to have your licenses declared void? Didnt you expect this would happen? Are you mad at the mayor for doing this to you? It was time to take a collective deep breath, and the 4,000 couples who had been judicially divorced against their will, spoke out with one voice about how important this action had been to have the opportunity to experience equality to put a human face on the issue of marriage discrimination to show the world the real-life couples and their children, grandchildren and their extended family who were celebrating their long-time commitment, finally as spouses for life.
That day was a blur of interviews and community chapter calls, coordinating same-sex couples and supporters in 25 different counties to simultaneously get into the streets and speak out about the injustice of our inability to marry, to be unable to access the 1400 rights of marriage, and to be denied this civil right that others took for granted. I remember the demonstration outside the California Supreme Court building that night where Stuart and his fianc, still in their tuxes and leis, cried as they spoke of how the court order had issued just as they reached the front of the line for their appointment and how the community spontaneously responded by acknowledging them as spouses for life. I remember Mel and Dominic a binational straight couple that had stood in line with us and now stood alone in our crowd as the only ones left married. They shared a song they had written of their experience with us that made us laugh and remember how wonderful things had been.
As so many of you, I have many positive memories, friendships and experiences that resulted from those wonderful six months of being married. Today, I give thanks to the many heroes: Mayor Gavin Newsom, City Attorney Dennis Herrera, Assessor Mabel Teng, Clerk Nancy Alfano, Mayors staff Joe Caruso with his bullhorn and tissues, all of the deputy marriage commissioners and city staff that dedicated hours of non-stop work for us and the undauntable legal teams at NCLR, Lambda and ACLU (David Codell and the other pro bono lawyers involved in our cases continue to be our community's unsung heroes). Margaret Cho and Tuck and Patti performers who donated their talents to our cause the Marriage Caravan of EQCA volunteer leaders crossing the country in a bus talking about marriage equality to people across the heartland.
Today, I am taking a moment to reflect on how far we have come and deliberately recommitting to being a part of the rest of the fight for marriage equality to see it through to the end we all gay and straight - have the opportunity to be a part of making history and actually impacting whether that victory comes sooner or later. We are facing unbelievably cruel and heartless ballot measures that seek to eliminate all domestic partnership protections and permanently ban access to the courts and legislature to end marriage discrimination. The proposed constitutional amendments have no redeeming social value whatsoever it is an attack on tens of thousands of law-abiding, good citizens throughout California.
Please join our statewide searchable couples database to help us continue to put our faces, our stories, our lives to this fight. We need all hands on deck! Im still engaged, are you? For information on how to get involved with Equality California, click here.