Dear So-N-So,
In a recent conversation with a mutual friend certain comments that were made in regards to gay marriage were brought to my attention. I understand that you said you do not support gay marriage because it is in conflict with your religious beliefs. I don't often offer my opinion on this issue, but this time I feel I must speak out. You have been a part of this family for longer than I have. I respect you and know you to be a morally and ethically conscience person. So, for this reason, and others, I am motivated to write this letter.
It is a fact that in The United States Of America gay couples in committed relationships are denied the right to marry. This reminds me of earlier laws that restricted marriage. As recently as 1967 some states denied interracial couples the right to marry. Marriages between whites and people of another race were seen as immoral and unnatural. As a society we came to the realization that this was a great injustice. We succeeded, within one generation, in righting this discriminatory wrong. I hope that the next generation of Americans will come to the same realization about same sex marriage.
Most of the arguments against gay marriage are rooted in the belief that homosexuality is unnatural. The fact that same sex relationships exist in species other than humans serves to prove that it is not unnatural. I agree that, for most people, heterosexual relationships are the social norm. Is that a justification for inequality? Because something isn't the norm? I say no.
Over 100 years ago the US Supreme court had an idea. They proposed, during a time of racial segregation, that equality could be achieved by maintaining a "separate but equal" facility for people of non European decent. This law was a key focus in the civil rights movement of the 1950's and '60's. In 1954 the Supreme court outlawed segregation of public schools in the landmark case Brown vs. Board of Education. It was found that separate was inherently not equal. The same is true today in civil unions and domestic partnerships.
There are 1,049 rights and responsibilities associated with civil marriage that are denied to gay couples, even those who are in a legally recognized civil union. Some of these rights have a huge financial impact on the families of gay couples. A same sex couple can not file a joint tax return or get marriage or family exemptions, and as a result pay more taxes. They can not share government benefits such as Social Security and Medicare. There is no protection for these families in regard to joint parenting, adoption, custody or visitation rights.
The emotional impact is sometimes more strongly felt than the financial one. Imagine that your husband had an accident at work. You were notified and then you rushed to the hospital to be by his side. As you walked into the emergency room you were stopped by a nurse who informed you that you are not allowed into the room. You see, the government does not recognize your marriage, and therefore you have no legal relationship to the patient. Unfortunately, many same sex couples face this kind of discrimination simply because they can not marry.
You have also been quoted as saying that you believe the acceptance of gay marriage would make a mockery of the institution of marriage. Upon what basis is such an argument made? Throughout history committed same sex relationships have been a reality. Having legal protections and societal equality will only serve to strengthen families. If a persons marriage is strong and meaningful today, it will be strong and meaningful tomorrow. It shouldn't matter what is added to its legal definition.
Contrary to popular belief one doesn't have to be gay to support marriage equality for gays. After all, sexual orientations don't marry each other, people do.
Recently, while researching an English paper, I came upon two quotes that I think apply to this situation. The first is by German anti-fascist Martin Niemoller. He said, "First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then, they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me." The second is from the American writer James Baldwin. He stated, "If we know, then we must fight for your life as though it were our own...for if they take you in the morning, they will be coming for us that night."
I hope that this letter has inspired you take another look at the issue of marriage equality. I also hope that it serves to open a dialogue between us because I have so much more to share with you. If, by this letter, I have offended you in any way, please forgive me. It was not my intention to offend, only to communicate my thoughts.
Your friend always,
Who
In a recent conversation with a mutual friend certain comments that were made in regards to gay marriage were brought to my attention. I understand that you said you do not support gay marriage because it is in conflict with your religious beliefs. I don't often offer my opinion on this issue, but this time I feel I must speak out. You have been a part of this family for longer than I have. I respect you and know you to be a morally and ethically conscience person. So, for this reason, and others, I am motivated to write this letter.
It is a fact that in The United States Of America gay couples in committed relationships are denied the right to marry. This reminds me of earlier laws that restricted marriage. As recently as 1967 some states denied interracial couples the right to marry. Marriages between whites and people of another race were seen as immoral and unnatural. As a society we came to the realization that this was a great injustice. We succeeded, within one generation, in righting this discriminatory wrong. I hope that the next generation of Americans will come to the same realization about same sex marriage.
Most of the arguments against gay marriage are rooted in the belief that homosexuality is unnatural. The fact that same sex relationships exist in species other than humans serves to prove that it is not unnatural. I agree that, for most people, heterosexual relationships are the social norm. Is that a justification for inequality? Because something isn't the norm? I say no.
Over 100 years ago the US Supreme court had an idea. They proposed, during a time of racial segregation, that equality could be achieved by maintaining a "separate but equal" facility for people of non European decent. This law was a key focus in the civil rights movement of the 1950's and '60's. In 1954 the Supreme court outlawed segregation of public schools in the landmark case Brown vs. Board of Education. It was found that separate was inherently not equal. The same is true today in civil unions and domestic partnerships.
There are 1,049 rights and responsibilities associated with civil marriage that are denied to gay couples, even those who are in a legally recognized civil union. Some of these rights have a huge financial impact on the families of gay couples. A same sex couple can not file a joint tax return or get marriage or family exemptions, and as a result pay more taxes. They can not share government benefits such as Social Security and Medicare. There is no protection for these families in regard to joint parenting, adoption, custody or visitation rights.
The emotional impact is sometimes more strongly felt than the financial one. Imagine that your husband had an accident at work. You were notified and then you rushed to the hospital to be by his side. As you walked into the emergency room you were stopped by a nurse who informed you that you are not allowed into the room. You see, the government does not recognize your marriage, and therefore you have no legal relationship to the patient. Unfortunately, many same sex couples face this kind of discrimination simply because they can not marry.
You have also been quoted as saying that you believe the acceptance of gay marriage would make a mockery of the institution of marriage. Upon what basis is such an argument made? Throughout history committed same sex relationships have been a reality. Having legal protections and societal equality will only serve to strengthen families. If a persons marriage is strong and meaningful today, it will be strong and meaningful tomorrow. It shouldn't matter what is added to its legal definition.
Contrary to popular belief one doesn't have to be gay to support marriage equality for gays. After all, sexual orientations don't marry each other, people do.
Recently, while researching an English paper, I came upon two quotes that I think apply to this situation. The first is by German anti-fascist Martin Niemoller. He said, "First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade unionists, but I was neither, so I did not speak out. Then, they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out for me." The second is from the American writer James Baldwin. He stated, "If we know, then we must fight for your life as though it were our own...for if they take you in the morning, they will be coming for us that night."
I hope that this letter has inspired you take another look at the issue of marriage equality. I also hope that it serves to open a dialogue between us because I have so much more to share with you. If, by this letter, I have offended you in any way, please forgive me. It was not my intention to offend, only to communicate my thoughts.
Your friend always,
Who
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
urblueygrl:
this is a better pic of him it was in one of his pic folders
oldskoolpat:
thanks for the b-day post. i went to the beach and had a great time doing the restaurant/club thing. 