ferretbite

I wish I could say this was a fantastic experience but to be perfectly honest it is kind of 'meh'. Cheap enough, though, as I bought a round trip to and from Brussels. Before hopping on the train at London St. Pancras, damn security people took my knife.

Now I understand the concerns about security but the chick who took it was daft in the mellon. See first she asked where I was from and where I was heading, so I explained. Next she asked why I had a knife. So I says "cause I need to eat, and some things need to be cut". And then the bitch goes on to say that "this is considered an assault weapon and it's forbidden to carry one around in this country", to which I replied "Yeah but I'm going to a different one..." Eventually she said they'd have to confiscate it to which I cheerfully agreed, secretly wishing that her fat ass lands on something spiky.

Seriously, though, what's up with the lameness??

I think I slept most of the way and there's NOTHING to see on board of the damn train so no pictars.

The Eurostar arrived in Brussels so I had about 40 minutes to connect to the Thalys for Paris Gare du Nord. Lucky for me, the Brussels Midi train station is fairly small and well organized so that was easy. Less lucky for me, my sodding luggage decided to break. Well, just the handle really but still, I had to buy a strap to pull it around until I fixed it (more on that later).

Eventually I made it to Paris where my compadre was waiting for me. We exchanged stories about the ride. We both slept through most of it.

We'd booked a room for three at the Vintage Hostel in Paris. Avoid at all costs. Place was filthy and above all else the room was tiiiiiny. We arrived to find it had been taken over by what we presume was two chicks. The room was about the size of my bathroom. And the bathroom about the size of my closet. There were exactly five empty bottles of water, three half-eaten baguettes and a bunch of dirty clothes scattered around the room and we basically had to take turns to move around in it.

"Fuck it" We said. We asked politely to be moved to a different room. One that didn't suck and was what we booked but were promptly told that there weren't any and if we wanted we could just get our money back but we had to tell them at once. So I negotiated that we be allowed to look around. At this point the chick behind the counter stopped smiling.

So we walked down to the corner... or rather up, then turned right and not 200 steps away we located the little Hotel du Delta, which is run by a group of very kind and serviceable algerian immigrants. We got a room with two beds and a bathroom on the third floor which was about twice as big as the eggshell we'd been given at the other one for the same price. The hotel itself is not fancy but it's near the Metro Anvers station and above all else, it's clean and safe. It's not the best choice if you intend to be out late, though, as they close the doors at 2 AM.

The House Burger joint sells some of the best greek sandwiches in town too. You can find a street view of both places here.


The red bag's name is Patricia. Yazgirl & I named it.

We decided we wouldn't wait and hit the streets. Before we knew it we had walked from the Arc of Triumph to the Eiffel Tower and half way back to the Louvre. And we decided we'd had enough, because after all we had another three days there. So we headed back to the hotel and did some more walking. Lots of peep shows in the area of Montmartre.

My friend stated that he wanted to go on to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I said good riddance. I've been there before and I don't fancy the queue followed by swarms of people trying to take pictures of themselves. So I told him to leave and meet me at the CDG-Etoile Metro. I went there and spent 1.5 hours waiting on street level. He spent the same time waiting down in the entrance of the metro. FAIL.

We went up the Arc of Triumph, and our first attempt at visiting the Louvre was a miserable failure because we didn't check correctly and ended up going on the one day of the week it's not open. Yay. We proceeded to visit Notre Dame & Les Invalides instead. Pictars?


The Louvre is at the end of that one...


If you can't name the tall thing in this one, please die.


Montparnasse


Montmartre. Which is where our hotel was.


Arc de la Dfense.



Visiting the Louvre. You're doing it (on the) wrong (day).

Quasimodo's mexican cousin. We didn't climb the towers because a) we're lazy bums and didn't feel like climbing whatever number of steps there were and b) the queue was RIDICULOUS and we sort of wanted to see other stuff too.


Napoleon's Tomb




I have a great deal of respect for Bonaparte for a number of reasons.

This is one of those things where you can't quite describe it, you have to see it. This is one of my favorite places in the world. I've been to a number of castles and none are like this. Of course, Windsor Castle rivals with Versailles in its arrogance and majesty, but they're too different from each other. If you're in Paris, do yourself a favor and VISIT THIS PLACE.




Like a d00sh, I forgot to remove my headphones in the one picture I have in the Gallerie des Glaces.

After Versailles, we finally made it. We went to the Louvre and spent hours in there. Getting there was a pain in the ass. You see, it was pouring. And so we walked down from Les Invalides to the Louvre again. Under the rain. And spent I don't know how many hours in there. Last time I didn't get to see half of it because of some bogus bomb threat. We were forcibly removed from the museum. This time, though, we stayed and did the whole tour. Including the restrooms.

I'm only faking disappointment here. I'd already seen this one before and knew how small it was. But a lot of people seem to think the Gioconda (Mona Lisa) painting is BIG. Well, no. It ain't.

The romans had sculptures with removable heads. That way you don't have to do the damn thing all over again.

I actually prefer this one to the Gioconda. It's often overlooked. But I knew it was there just like the last time. and it was great seeing it again.

It is adviced that start singing Coldplay's 'Viva la vida' upon seeing this one, to prove you're a cultured person. (I actually saw a guy do that)

Nike is NOT just the name of a shoe brand. (Some chick said 'Oh look the statue's name is written like the brand name!)

The Code of Hammurabi. This is a very important thing to us legal people, in case you wondered.

- People in Paris can be extremely rude. Respond accordingly. It's expected.
- Oh how I love riding on the metro. And the RER.
- The weather SUCKED during our whole stay. It even threatened to ruin our promenade in Versailles.
- If an african dude approaches you asking to hold a piece of string and starts chatting with you saying "Hakuna Matata" just play dumb and move along. Or be like me and give them 83 cents for their hard work saying you don't got no cash.
- If you want a cell phone, get a mobiho sim card. AVOID Orange at all costs
- Everything has a Paris Tax. Like, damn, shit's expensive in Paris.
- Get a Museum Pass and a Visit Pass. Or be prepared to spend spend spend.
- My love-hate relationship with Paris lives on. I like the sights. But there's something about that city I just can't digest. So no, this wasn't my favorite part of the trip. Not by a long shot.

Some braless chick with no arms. Everyone was taking pictures of it so I figured why not?


Shout out to Losties:





A souvenir from Persia. Alexander destroyed a lot of this stuff. That's just the top of the column BTW. So you can imagine the room was TALL


The Immortals were real. Just not as dramatic as in that movie you're thinking of


Some more Eiffel Tower, Invalides, Notre Dame & Arc of Triumph pics











Rich people have the coolest sepulcres (this is in Notre Dame)




Montmartre




Moar Louvre



This is one of my favorite Greek Myths:





Versailles





This is Louis XIV. He looks nothing like Leonardo as you can see