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ferretbite

Member Since 2006

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Thursday Mar 22, 2007

Mar 21, 2007
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Sorry guys, I know I promised a good one, but no can do. If you still feel like reading go on, I don't care, it's all about just getting this out of my system.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

My grandfather died in september. I watched him fade and deteriorate, to a point where I as thankful when he could finally rest. He spent the last 3 years of his long life in excruciating pain. Here's the thing. We all were expecting news of his death anytime, yet when it happened, nobody saw it coming. He survived so many different crisis, we all figured he'd make it through another one. Not saying it was a shock when I got the news as I was laying on my bed watching TV, but it was still a little surprising.

My cousin Pancho died today, at 38 yrs old. He said goodbye to his kid and wife, then had a crisis. He had asthma, you see. And he was the eldest of the cousins. He managed to contact his wife, and call an ambulance. The fucking thing never got there. Upon realizing help wasn't coming, he went to his neighbor. He died on the guy's car, on the way to the hospital, and I got the news as I was driving to do some work stuff. The rest of the day is blurry. I got through a shitload of work without even noticing, and when I finished I went straight to the funeral. They told me my little nephew was taken there to say good-bye to his dad. It was intense for a while but how do you explain to a 7-yr old that daddy's not coming back again, after he was traumatized by the loss of his grandfather two years ago? Kid spent a month sitting by the door because he thought my uncle would somehow come back to him. Of course he didn't see the body. None of us did. We'll bury him tomorrow.

And all along, life just goes on, doesn't it? I came out of the place and someone put publicity for a strip joint/brothel on my windshield. My godparents are driving back to Mexico City because they have an appointment to renew their american visa tomorrow morning. And I have to get my ass to work right after the gravestone is set. My dad didn't make it here because he's got some conferences he's giving and stuff.

There was another bunch of people on a different funeral. 15 yr old boy blew his head off because he had a rough going with his girlfriend. And I was mad at what some people were saying... People can be so fucking stupid. I mean they show up, some feel pain, some are there for free coffee, others just want to be seen but there's always a sone of a bitch talking trash about the person who ended his life on a moment of weakness, thinking they're so much better. For once, though, I kept my stupid mouth shut. Not my place to give lessons to anybody.



If you're still reading this, I'm sorry about that.

Wedding's on saturday. Going solo. And I intend to have fun. It may seem inappropriate to some people. The way I see it, if life doesn't wait for anybody, you should not let go on the scarce opportunities it gives you to actually enjoy yourself. Plus, sulking and going all emo and shit won't bring the dead back, or heal any of my family's wounds.

It is 1:05 here. That means it's been BITCA's birthday for 1 hour and 6 minutes. A year ago, I called her, said this to her: "Tu sais, je me fous pas mal de la distance, je t'aime, et oui je veux que tu reviennes, mais cette fois-ci je voudrais que tu restes l, ou alors c'est moi qui viendrai te chercher". She agreed, for the most part. We agreed on me visiting her in Finland, said how much we missed each other and all that crap. A year later, I realized, Forever just got a hell of a lot shorter. Enjoy what you have while you have it. And be prepared to let go whenever the time comes, because by one reason or the next, it will end... Where was I? Oh yeah, BITCA's b'day. It just so happens to be on the exact same day as my sister's. They get along quite well, in fact I sometimes think my sister likes here much better than me. whatever

Why am I even mentioning that? I forgot. I think I was going to ask which one of you wanted to be mentioned on my list of people that said "hi" to her. Or something worse. biggrin

Have a pleasant day everyone, get ready for the weekend! kiss

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
stompbox:
And life just keeps going on. Just like you, I think of that in times like what you're going through now. When you're forced to see people suffering, or in great sadness, or in some way having to stop everything and just focus on dealing with getting through one minute to the next, I somehow always reach a point where I look around and think life just goes on. I'm sorry for you family's loss.

So this is the wedding you predicted you'd end up going solo to, right? Looks like you nailed it. And screw "inappropriate," go and have fun.

I've read your journal long enough to know who BITCA is but not long enough to have figured out what the acronym stands for. You'll have to fill me in at some point. I hope you have a great weekend.
Mar 22, 2007
jackieomonroe:
Aww frown I'm sorry.

Go and have fun solo! Hit on all the bridesmaids... Tear up the dance floor! Be the HIT of the party, smile
Mar 23, 2007

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