Update
SO you don't really notice how lonely you are until you go to a strip club. Went to this place called 'Grand Daddy's' tonight. It's called that because it's on Grand Avenue. It use to be an all ages place, then it was an 18+ bikini bar, then it just became a 21+ all nude strip club. A lot of the stripers (my friends know then, not me) that work there know us, so that's why we go there. The only reason I like going there is because one of the stripers I know, Sara, is a big S&N freak. I went there a few weeks ago, and told her that I like to get hit. Well tonight she flat out hit me in the face, and I loved it. My friends don't understand why getting hit by a woman is so arousing, but it just gets me all worked up.
Any way, back to my original statement that strip clubs just make me feel even lonelier than I really am. I always walk out of them feeling like complete shit, and I think it's because on one hand I want to have a stable relationship, and on the other hand I want great sex. I have neither, and it would be great if I could have both at the same time...from the same person.
I guess the main this is that I really miss my girlfriend. I cried last night for the first time about our break up. I really really miss her, and I don't think I want her back. That's the main problem, is that she hurt me so bad that I don't think I can ever take her back. She has a major attachment disorder, so she pushes people away before they can hurt her, and I really tried working with her on that, and I don't know if she will get better any time soon.
I'm probably rambling on because I've been drinking, but I'm really feeling down right now, and I wish I wasn't. I really wish I could wake up tomorrow, and this whole thing would be a dream, and she would still be my girlfriend, but I know that's not the case. I guess it's hard to understand unless you knew her from my stand point. I love her so much, and it hurts to let her go.
Sorry to rant like this.
Well I had my interview with Brigs, and all went well, but I am way over qualified for the position, so I won't be taking it.
I now have two phone interviews, and two on site interviews next week. I have to travel back to Milwaukee, and then to Indiana, so I have a busy week ahead of me.
Well I'm going to get drunk tonight, so I don't have much more to say.
SO you don't really notice how lonely you are until you go to a strip club. Went to this place called 'Grand Daddy's' tonight. It's called that because it's on Grand Avenue. It use to be an all ages place, then it was an 18+ bikini bar, then it just became a 21+ all nude strip club. A lot of the stripers (my friends know then, not me) that work there know us, so that's why we go there. The only reason I like going there is because one of the stripers I know, Sara, is a big S&N freak. I went there a few weeks ago, and told her that I like to get hit. Well tonight she flat out hit me in the face, and I loved it. My friends don't understand why getting hit by a woman is so arousing, but it just gets me all worked up.
Any way, back to my original statement that strip clubs just make me feel even lonelier than I really am. I always walk out of them feeling like complete shit, and I think it's because on one hand I want to have a stable relationship, and on the other hand I want great sex. I have neither, and it would be great if I could have both at the same time...from the same person.
I guess the main this is that I really miss my girlfriend. I cried last night for the first time about our break up. I really really miss her, and I don't think I want her back. That's the main problem, is that she hurt me so bad that I don't think I can ever take her back. She has a major attachment disorder, so she pushes people away before they can hurt her, and I really tried working with her on that, and I don't know if she will get better any time soon.
I'm probably rambling on because I've been drinking, but I'm really feeling down right now, and I wish I wasn't. I really wish I could wake up tomorrow, and this whole thing would be a dream, and she would still be my girlfriend, but I know that's not the case. I guess it's hard to understand unless you knew her from my stand point. I love her so much, and it hurts to let her go.
Sorry to rant like this.
Well I had my interview with Brigs, and all went well, but I am way over qualified for the position, so I won't be taking it.
I now have two phone interviews, and two on site interviews next week. I have to travel back to Milwaukee, and then to Indiana, so I have a busy week ahead of me.
Well I'm going to get drunk tonight, so I don't have much more to say.