Sorry my felines, I haven't been on much lately due to an entire upheaval of my life as it once was. Anything that could have changed has, and I remain optimistic enough to believe that it was for the better.
The feelings are still fresh and thus it is hard to comprehend properly what happened and the difference between right and wrong, beautiful and ugly. It's hard to write about so I'll do my best not to go into much detail.
I moved out of my exes and his friends place to start anew uptown with my best friend. This new solitude while pleasant has been difficult to re-adapt to. I'm searching for happiness but linger on the edge. I feel like something is just out of my grasp. Ah well, time will tell. Despite my uneasiness, I do feel more like myself than I have in a long time. I've reverted back to my introverted well spoken self, now having the time and energy to dedicate to my art and writing rather than wasting it on others in that much-too-social setting I was in before.
Some difficulties have arisen, between my friend and her boyfriend. The reason there was space for me in the first place was because she was going to move upstairs with her man. Although she has done so, many of her belongings remain down here and I don't feel like I have my own space. I sleep in her bed, with her pillows and her blankets and her things all around me, and I feel lost. Shes also reconsidering her decision because hes moody and wants to work up north for weeks at a time. I don't want her to feel like she has to stay upstairs out of courtesy for me moving in downstairs. And again, time will only tell if this stay is more temporary than I originally believed.
As it stands, I'm much happier than I was a week ago (or was it two, now? I suppose it was.) and look forward to my life continuing to improve. The Rune, Standstill, was very right about it's prediction that no action can be taken at this point. I sit and wait.
-Felynx
The feelings are still fresh and thus it is hard to comprehend properly what happened and the difference between right and wrong, beautiful and ugly. It's hard to write about so I'll do my best not to go into much detail.
I moved out of my exes and his friends place to start anew uptown with my best friend. This new solitude while pleasant has been difficult to re-adapt to. I'm searching for happiness but linger on the edge. I feel like something is just out of my grasp. Ah well, time will tell. Despite my uneasiness, I do feel more like myself than I have in a long time. I've reverted back to my introverted well spoken self, now having the time and energy to dedicate to my art and writing rather than wasting it on others in that much-too-social setting I was in before.
Some difficulties have arisen, between my friend and her boyfriend. The reason there was space for me in the first place was because she was going to move upstairs with her man. Although she has done so, many of her belongings remain down here and I don't feel like I have my own space. I sleep in her bed, with her pillows and her blankets and her things all around me, and I feel lost. Shes also reconsidering her decision because hes moody and wants to work up north for weeks at a time. I don't want her to feel like she has to stay upstairs out of courtesy for me moving in downstairs. And again, time will only tell if this stay is more temporary than I originally believed.
As it stands, I'm much happier than I was a week ago (or was it two, now? I suppose it was.) and look forward to my life continuing to improve. The Rune, Standstill, was very right about it's prediction that no action can be taken at this point. I sit and wait.
-Felynx
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
kostisix:
Take a time off of everything and come to Finland for a while, my bed is too big for one.
ericsboxx:
The hardest part is taking that first step and if you just miss the companionship versus the relationship, you know it was the right decision.