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yea so i finally got my fatass to be motivated to write. i um... have been working ass off. it seems that if im not working then im gettting ready to go to bed. even on my days off i have to go to work. i finally got ride of my fear of heights. @ my work we have an indoor climbing wall and once again i find myself loveing it. its a good work out. other than that im haveing a ruff time. its almost been a year since my mother has died and i feel empty. she was really the other person i could connect with, i was the only one who spent the last two years of her life taking care of her. if i wasnt there then she wouldnt of lasted as long as she did. the holidays suck really bad when everyone i work with is like i get to go home and see my mom and im like ugh yea i dont. but i guess i cant resort to the past i have to live in the present. it just doesnt seem real to me. I ALSO FEEL LIKE A SUPER BITCH BECAUSE I AM PUSHING AWAY ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE FOR SOME REASON. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS TOWN FOR A WHILE BUT I HAVE NOWERE TO GO. I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK. I MISS BEING "ME"
On the other hand i am trying to decide on what to get for a new tattoo. i am puzzeled. i want it to be really good. have a good night