Bold text has been added to this entry to avoid confusion while reading.
This is the year of strange and bizarre things and experiences it seems
One of these things is something I didn't really want to deal with until I was 30, or at least until when I was good and ready to deal with it. Because that's what it is, just something to deal with. I do not want to have something else to deal with when there are certain things I want to do with my life, things that will already take enough time and effort as it is. Especially considering the possible extra complications and problems this extra thing can cause. Because as with most nice things, a risk is involved. People like to take the risk to attain the good feeling that can possibly be had. I'm not too fond of this particular risk, even if there is success. Even if this good feeling is attained it still requires a constant amount of certain efforts to be able to maintain, and I can't say I'm very excited about that challenge.
I would like to ignore it, though I've been forced to sit down and look at it by the people I choose to surround myself with. These particular people are the same who made me aware of the people who would like to risk the good feeling. I will have to say I was very surprised that it was not just 'person' but 'people' and failed to see any sense in it. I found it surreal even. I'm told by these particular people that this is not uncommon. I'm also told (by the particular people) that the ignorance of others who are interested in risking the good feeling with them is not uncommon. This is nice to know, I guess, though it does mean that certain things I have a hard time accepting the existence of are indeed quite real and demand my attention.
I'm told by the particular people that I act like this out of fear of the risk, most notably the fear of failure.
The fear of people?
"Maybe" I say "probably, possibly". It would not be surprising. I would not be surprised. Hopefully whatever reasons I have for it will be presented and explained in the projects that would come from the things I want to do with my life, the things which will take enough time and effort as it is. That was the plan.
I'm also told I'm making an unnecessary big deal about it and I should make the risk with one of these people. The good feeling and the risk that is involved is something that should be experienced by everyone.
Well, I know I'm being silly about it, but I also know I'm just being me. That's all I'm being, even if it also happens to be silly. I also don't deny "phases" and their ability to just leave and be replaced with something quite opposite.
Maybe I'll get hit by a car and die tomorrow, and during the time I lay crippled bleeding to death in the street I'll realize that all this effort made to not make an effort was just a horrible waste of time. Or maybe I would have snapped my neck and wouldn't really be given the time to think about it. It would then be left solely to my friends to casually think "what a horrible waste of time he was making". This might be funny to think about for people who would not be me.
But as someone not crippled and bleeding to death, or just dead, I find the humor in it.
*Note- The good feeling is not to be mistaken for something as specific as the purpose of making love to someone.
This is the year of strange and bizarre things and experiences it seems
One of these things is something I didn't really want to deal with until I was 30, or at least until when I was good and ready to deal with it. Because that's what it is, just something to deal with. I do not want to have something else to deal with when there are certain things I want to do with my life, things that will already take enough time and effort as it is. Especially considering the possible extra complications and problems this extra thing can cause. Because as with most nice things, a risk is involved. People like to take the risk to attain the good feeling that can possibly be had. I'm not too fond of this particular risk, even if there is success. Even if this good feeling is attained it still requires a constant amount of certain efforts to be able to maintain, and I can't say I'm very excited about that challenge.
I would like to ignore it, though I've been forced to sit down and look at it by the people I choose to surround myself with. These particular people are the same who made me aware of the people who would like to risk the good feeling. I will have to say I was very surprised that it was not just 'person' but 'people' and failed to see any sense in it. I found it surreal even. I'm told by these particular people that this is not uncommon. I'm also told (by the particular people) that the ignorance of others who are interested in risking the good feeling with them is not uncommon. This is nice to know, I guess, though it does mean that certain things I have a hard time accepting the existence of are indeed quite real and demand my attention.
I'm told by the particular people that I act like this out of fear of the risk, most notably the fear of failure.
The fear of people?
"Maybe" I say "probably, possibly". It would not be surprising. I would not be surprised. Hopefully whatever reasons I have for it will be presented and explained in the projects that would come from the things I want to do with my life, the things which will take enough time and effort as it is. That was the plan.
I'm also told I'm making an unnecessary big deal about it and I should make the risk with one of these people. The good feeling and the risk that is involved is something that should be experienced by everyone.
Well, I know I'm being silly about it, but I also know I'm just being me. That's all I'm being, even if it also happens to be silly. I also don't deny "phases" and their ability to just leave and be replaced with something quite opposite.
Maybe I'll get hit by a car and die tomorrow, and during the time I lay crippled bleeding to death in the street I'll realize that all this effort made to not make an effort was just a horrible waste of time. Or maybe I would have snapped my neck and wouldn't really be given the time to think about it. It would then be left solely to my friends to casually think "what a horrible waste of time he was making". This might be funny to think about for people who would not be me.
But as someone not crippled and bleeding to death, or just dead, I find the humor in it.
*Note- The good feeling is not to be mistaken for something as specific as the purpose of making love to someone.
Sorry not to have been back in touch in ages. Changes. Seem to be settling down a bit. But still lots of work to do and not really settled yet.
Read all of the above.
Hard not to want to offer advice. Very hard. Hehe.
Definitely not my place. Interesting words.
Glad your not crippled nor bleedin to death. Although it would be a bit weird if you were by the time you get this.
Would that be evidence that the cosmic joker (aka the trip co-ordinator) has a really weird sense of humour too?