faye

Nothing is Real

I go through hit and miss times with this site. That's probably not the best way to put it but I'll explain.

When I first started on SG I gave a lot of myself then I gave nothing. Now I'm at this in between point where sometimes I'll show a lot of myself in a blog. Normally though, like right now I'll leave it up for a couple hours then regret posting it in the first place and write something else.

Everything I tell you about myself I say in riddles. I'm almost a figment of imagination in ways. Like a lot of people on the site I am whatever you think I am in your head. You see my images but most of you don't talk to me in any REAL way. You don't know what my name is, you probably don't know where I live, what I do....you never know what is in my dreams, my fears or my heart.

But then again, I've had friends for years who don't really know me. So you're not really missing out on much.

Anyways...............


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Today is all about thoughts of you. Good ones, bad ones, it's so strange that something that used to consume you can change into something that confuses you so deeply.

these are some of my favorites...









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As always things with the gays are insane. I woke up today and got told that we're getting a new car. Like out of no where and a new flat screen TV for the Media Loft....I'm spoiled living here. Honestly, I'm still getting used to it, it still blows my mind sometimes. Like right now...James is making us home made cookies for our movie night tonight. He made us home made egg mcmuffins this morning for breakfast.

Little Princess Living in a Big Gay Castle. haha

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I got my hair cut today, on a whim. I've been thinking about it for a long time. I ended up just going to a random place right near my house to get it done. It's more "scene" than before which is what I wanted but she ended up having to cut off a lot of length. It's alright though....I might dye it black and purple - we'll see.

I also almost went and got my cheeks pierced today - I've wanted them for awhile but held off. Since I'm planning on getting a new bro tattoo the first week of April I'm still holding off, that's a lot of change in a little amount of time. In so many ways it's needed though. I'm WAY too fucking plain lately.

Long brown hair?!? WTF - it's alright and cute enough I guess but not really me in a lot of ways.

Anyways...it's Sunday, I need to do my eyebrows, clean my room and get all my laundry done. I have a full week of work THANK FUCK (last week because it was March break we didn't really work, what was done was retarded, we got nothing of any value accomplished and I'm a little pissed off about it. I got only part time hours, and when you're not salary and pay your own rent and bills that can really fuckin hurt.)

Oh, and I'm also watching LOST which I'm now in love with. Only I really wish someone would watch it with me because I freak out over it. And I want to talk about things in it with people. Actually now that I just said that, most people would probably be SUPER annoyed with me if they were to watch it with me. I'm a deep thinking and super curious as a person in general. I always have all these insane thoughts and questions...no one ever listens to me when I actually talk about the things that matter to me, which kinda sucks. But....it would probably be the same with this as well. I need a soul mate that wants to hang out all the time.....

I need a lot of things right now. My problem is that I never ask for anything. I have a very hard time finding what I need in the people that surround me. This is going no where.....

Have a good SUNDAY night!