So I broke down and posted in Craigslist here in DC...again.
And you would not believe the responses I have gotten from this posting in the Men seeking Women section here in DC. This is just too fucking hilarious for its own good. Over the last six months or so I have posted a few ads here and there on CL looking to maybe meet someone. Turned out to be more of a free coffee/free lunch club for girls here than anything else. Screw that...So I put up the following post on Craigslist this afternoon and thus far I have gotten just at 20 responses in the last 6 hours. Some of them actually got it and want to talk, some of them just thought it was the funniest ad they've ever seen and had to tell me so. The most surprising replies have been the 3 or 4 that want to fuck me porn star style, complete with photos. Nice! LMFAO! It's funny how once again being a total dick garners far more attention than being nice, even if you're only joking but some people don't seem to realize that. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Posted on CL as follows:
Chivalry isn't dead but some of you sure seem to be trying to kill it! - 36 - NoVA (Northern VA)
That's it. I've had it. So far this year I've posted several ads that I considered to be witty, charming, very genuine, intelligently done, etc. My only goal was to attract a really nice girl who has her act at least somewhat together and was interested in a life well-lived. Holding hands during long walks around the monuments, passionate kisses when you least expect it, her head on my shoulder while we stay in for dinner and a movie, laying in bed on a stormy day and listening to the rain against the windows, whispering and giggling in the dark together when the day is done and you just want someone to hold and who will hold you back and be there for you...
To my recollection thus far my postings have been:
a.) largely unnoticed or ignored
b.) misinterpreted
c.) used to lead me down a path of shitty blind dates and plenty of terrible conversation
d.) in the worst of cases - all of the above
So no more. I am done with being the nice guy and the romantic sap. You've beaten it out of me finally after only 2 years here. So, here's the deal. I just want to fuck. I want to have dirty porn-star sex, the kind that you've told every boyfriend you've had is disgusting but you secretly fantasize about sometimes. That includes facials, anal, ball-licking, 69 and the full compliment of every kind of sex toy imaginable.
I want my dick to be sore from repeated sessions of burying it in you and I want you to walk with a limp for days on end. You can't sit down right for a few days? Bonus! If you don't want to tell me your name, I don't even care. You just have to be clean and disease-free, because I sure am. All I want from here on out is sheer orgasmic bliss, both mine and yours.
All you need to do is stick your ass in the air and let me smack it while pulling your hair as I fuck you. It's pretty simple really. This can happen at my place, at your place or at some seedy little motel. I don't care anymore. Put your favorite color in the title of your reply to prove you really read this.
And since I'm such a hopeless romantic at heart, I'll even be willing to cuddle with your shivering, sweat soaked body once we're done.
Please reply if you like the first paragraph... ;o)
And you would not believe the responses I have gotten from this posting in the Men seeking Women section here in DC. This is just too fucking hilarious for its own good. Over the last six months or so I have posted a few ads here and there on CL looking to maybe meet someone. Turned out to be more of a free coffee/free lunch club for girls here than anything else. Screw that...So I put up the following post on Craigslist this afternoon and thus far I have gotten just at 20 responses in the last 6 hours. Some of them actually got it and want to talk, some of them just thought it was the funniest ad they've ever seen and had to tell me so. The most surprising replies have been the 3 or 4 that want to fuck me porn star style, complete with photos. Nice! LMFAO! It's funny how once again being a total dick garners far more attention than being nice, even if you're only joking but some people don't seem to realize that. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Posted on CL as follows:
Chivalry isn't dead but some of you sure seem to be trying to kill it! - 36 - NoVA (Northern VA)
That's it. I've had it. So far this year I've posted several ads that I considered to be witty, charming, very genuine, intelligently done, etc. My only goal was to attract a really nice girl who has her act at least somewhat together and was interested in a life well-lived. Holding hands during long walks around the monuments, passionate kisses when you least expect it, her head on my shoulder while we stay in for dinner and a movie, laying in bed on a stormy day and listening to the rain against the windows, whispering and giggling in the dark together when the day is done and you just want someone to hold and who will hold you back and be there for you...
To my recollection thus far my postings have been:
a.) largely unnoticed or ignored
b.) misinterpreted
c.) used to lead me down a path of shitty blind dates and plenty of terrible conversation
d.) in the worst of cases - all of the above
So no more. I am done with being the nice guy and the romantic sap. You've beaten it out of me finally after only 2 years here. So, here's the deal. I just want to fuck. I want to have dirty porn-star sex, the kind that you've told every boyfriend you've had is disgusting but you secretly fantasize about sometimes. That includes facials, anal, ball-licking, 69 and the full compliment of every kind of sex toy imaginable.
I want my dick to be sore from repeated sessions of burying it in you and I want you to walk with a limp for days on end. You can't sit down right for a few days? Bonus! If you don't want to tell me your name, I don't even care. You just have to be clean and disease-free, because I sure am. All I want from here on out is sheer orgasmic bliss, both mine and yours.
All you need to do is stick your ass in the air and let me smack it while pulling your hair as I fuck you. It's pretty simple really. This can happen at my place, at your place or at some seedy little motel. I don't care anymore. Put your favorite color in the title of your reply to prove you really read this.
And since I'm such a hopeless romantic at heart, I'll even be willing to cuddle with your shivering, sweat soaked body once we're done.
Please reply if you like the first paragraph... ;o)
sharona1881:
you crack me up... maybe if you bold the last sentence, youll get less confused hookers 
fauxtographer:
Rach confused hookers are one of the best parts of craigslist though! You shoulda seen some of these replies. Brilliant!