...then it all wears off, the haze lifts and we stop looking at life through a rose-tinted window...
Hmm.
The word for the day is contemplative.
Given that I haven't been sleeping well lately (not sure why, could be a few things) I've had a lot of time to read and think. Unfortunately, I've now run out of books, leading to more thinking-time. In my experience, this is what I would term a 'Bad Thing'. Maybe it's time to join a library.
Anyways, I have come to the conclusion that I'm really not terribly happy with where my life is at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely in a much better place (both mentally and geographically) than I was this time last year, ergo- I got the fuck out of the incestuous little shitpit that is Stoke-on-Trent. That was a 'Good Thing'.
Since then, I've had a lot of new experiences (both good and bad) which have (I believe) helped me grow up quite a bit (I think my previous level of immaturity / irresponsibility was quite a drain on some of my friendships in the past). So, with experience comes wisdom, according to some venerable old chinese man somewhere. And as anyone who's seen Kill Bill vol.2 will know, said old men are not to be taken lightly.
All this circuitous mental rambling leads me to one conclusion- I want to go back to uni and finish my degree. I screwed it up (for various reasons, most all of which I consider to be entirely my own fault) the first time through, so have decided I'm going to try to get admitted for the September '05 term.
The thought of being that broke again fills me with a paralysing fear but I'm pretty sure that if I carry on as I am, working as a fucking salesman, I'm going to go all 'Falling Down' on people and rampage through central manchester with a firearm and a dodgy haircut (though, doubtless would be fun but hard on the criminal record, followed by prolonged periods of incarceration *grin*).
So, yeah. Am in discussion with UCAS (Nazi-bastards that they are) and a few Uni's around here with a view to starting my English Lit degree over, then going on to do a PGCE in Teaching. I can't seem to reconcile the image of myself as a teacher but oddly enough, it's something I _want_ to do. Wanted to do for a while, in fact.
There you have it. My mission then, over the next 12 months is to prepare for four years of crippling poverty, bad food, cheap housing, unwashed students (them, not me, you cheeky fuckers *grin*) and Pot Noodles. Maybe at the end of all, it'll be worth it. I'll end up doing something _worthwhile_ for a change. I only wish I could've got my shit together _before_ this, when I was 18, instead of a few weeks prior to my 24th berfday.
Shit, now that makes me feel old...
Though, anyone who wants to pop along for some kind of birthday-drinkies, I'm sure I'll be found stumbling around Manchester at some point mid-june. *grin*
Laters. J.
Hmm.
The word for the day is contemplative.
Given that I haven't been sleeping well lately (not sure why, could be a few things) I've had a lot of time to read and think. Unfortunately, I've now run out of books, leading to more thinking-time. In my experience, this is what I would term a 'Bad Thing'. Maybe it's time to join a library.
Anyways, I have come to the conclusion that I'm really not terribly happy with where my life is at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely in a much better place (both mentally and geographically) than I was this time last year, ergo- I got the fuck out of the incestuous little shitpit that is Stoke-on-Trent. That was a 'Good Thing'.
Since then, I've had a lot of new experiences (both good and bad) which have (I believe) helped me grow up quite a bit (I think my previous level of immaturity / irresponsibility was quite a drain on some of my friendships in the past). So, with experience comes wisdom, according to some venerable old chinese man somewhere. And as anyone who's seen Kill Bill vol.2 will know, said old men are not to be taken lightly.
All this circuitous mental rambling leads me to one conclusion- I want to go back to uni and finish my degree. I screwed it up (for various reasons, most all of which I consider to be entirely my own fault) the first time through, so have decided I'm going to try to get admitted for the September '05 term.
The thought of being that broke again fills me with a paralysing fear but I'm pretty sure that if I carry on as I am, working as a fucking salesman, I'm going to go all 'Falling Down' on people and rampage through central manchester with a firearm and a dodgy haircut (though, doubtless would be fun but hard on the criminal record, followed by prolonged periods of incarceration *grin*).
So, yeah. Am in discussion with UCAS (Nazi-bastards that they are) and a few Uni's around here with a view to starting my English Lit degree over, then going on to do a PGCE in Teaching. I can't seem to reconcile the image of myself as a teacher but oddly enough, it's something I _want_ to do. Wanted to do for a while, in fact.
There you have it. My mission then, over the next 12 months is to prepare for four years of crippling poverty, bad food, cheap housing, unwashed students (them, not me, you cheeky fuckers *grin*) and Pot Noodles. Maybe at the end of all, it'll be worth it. I'll end up doing something _worthwhile_ for a change. I only wish I could've got my shit together _before_ this, when I was 18, instead of a few weeks prior to my 24th berfday.
Shit, now that makes me feel old...
Though, anyone who wants to pop along for some kind of birthday-drinkies, I'm sure I'll be found stumbling around Manchester at some point mid-june. *grin*
Laters. J.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
asha:
ooh, i'm gonna be visiting Jilly's next Friday by the looks of it...or maybe I'll try somewhere else?? i'm travelling up to do some dreads for Trish (the american girl, fantastic dancer) yay! 
asha:
yeah the 21st. Jilly's will probably be easier, as I figure Trish will want to go there too...will be nice to get a night of heavy dancing in, as there'll be loads of people about the following week for Daisy's birthday gathering!