fallen1

So, I have been fortunate in the people I have met on this site. I've been to Australia and all over the U.S meeting members who have been kind enough to show me around the cities they live in. All of these amazing things pale in comparison to one very special girl I've met living in Florida.

I first started exchanging e-mails with her sometime in March 06, she came into my life when everything was exploding all around me, including who and what I thought I was. She was there to listen when I needed to vent, supply me with subjective and unbiased advice when I asked, and even when I didn't. We developed a bond from the get go, becoming close, finding ourselves talking each other through mundane relationship issues with unbiased and supportive advice. We found ourselves putting aside our selfishness to genuinely help our friend get through and over obstacles life put in our way.

These last two years I have been exploring myself and the world around me, trying to pick up the pieces to put myself together. It became very important for me to figure out why I do the things I do in order to make certain that I wouldn't find myself in the same situation ever again. She was there being her supportive and caring self, doing all of the things that come naturally, providing me with a base to be able to step back and take a look at the progress I had been making.

I took a trip to Cuba early last year to prove to myself that all I needed was myself, I could make a go at things based solely on the actions I put into motion. I found that I had instincts and feelings necessary to explore everything I had ever dreamed of, I broke out of my box and really realized that nothing can or will ever hold me back again. She was there to support my decisions, but also to let me know that for as positive as all of these things are, that I can never loose sight of the people who genuinely care for and love me. As independent as I was finding myself, it's still imperatively important to remember that we all need people in our lives. That it takes a much stronger person to make our relationships work as opposed to cutting them when they feel as though they should be cut and left behind.

With these revelations I had to meet this girl; so I asked if she would meet me in Washington in order to put everything into perspective. I wanted to really get to know the girl whoes opinion and respect I had come to value so high. The trip itself was amazing; we explored the city, museums and night life offered to us. We found that the jokes, feelings and support we found on line transferred in person as naturally as though we had known each other for so many more years then the reality reflected. It was this trip that I started to really fall in love with her.

Something that scared me to no end, I found ways to fight these feelings, not believing that there was ever going to be a way for anything to work out between us. I had fear after fear to back up my claims as to how it would never work between us. Claims of long distance relationships destined for nothing but failure, her deserving much more then an incomplete and lost little boy. The list goes on, to the point where I cancelled a trip to see her because I loved her more then I was ready to admit. As upset as this made her, she unselfishly respected my views and sought to understand them.

At this point she did something she had never done before and braved the rejection we both feared. She let me know that she loved me, and that it caught her completely off guard. She was willing to raise above her selfishness, by not walking away, something she had no qualms doing with every other relationship she had had to date. She firmly let me know her feelings and where I stood in her heart, she left the decision as to what to do about everything completely up to me. I instantly saw the strength of her convictions and the bravery of her admissions. I then shared the last of myself with her, enlightening her as to why I tend to do the things I do.

Feeling a little more secure about our positions in each others lives we continued to be open with our feelings, and because of this we managed to survive the 5 months till our next meeting. I admit that it got extremely difficult at times, but looking back on it, all of the amazing things we find in life truly require work in order for them to... well, work. She arrived in Calgary, and my arms, for the new years. Seeing each other again instantly reassured us that we were working towards something worthwhile, and that the hard times we got through together only made our feelings for each other clearer and more defined.

At dinner for New Years Eve I asked this most Amazing, Intelligent and Gorgeous woman to be my bride. It turned out that the final piece of which I had been missing these last years, was in fact her heart, and it fits perfectly within my chest beating alongside mine. Her blood flows through my veins, my every breath whispers her name. I find myself complete with her by my side, nothing from this day forward will ever stand in our way. She said yes, and I couldn't be happier.

I love you so very much kitten, and I look forward to every day. Waking up sleepy eyed every morning and slipping off to sleep, exhausted in each others arms for the rest of our lives. I look forward to exploring the world with you, chasing all of our dreams together, and raising our family. Nothing will stand in our way, complacency and idleness isn't in either one of us so we'll get to and achieve the things we feel so passionately for. I found it so hard to say the first time, but now I find I can't say it enough, I truly do love you and can't wait for us to get started.
xoxo