Ok, so this is too much my luck in life not to look at with a laugh, hell I'm even going to share a little of the insanity that makes me up.
I have a good friend I've known for 7ish years, we've been in and out of contact for years at a time, but every time we talk we pick up where we left off. Our sense of humour is carbon copy to each other. Lately we've entered into a period of regular chat and texts.
We went for dinner to check each other out and as well as to see what the others been up to over the last few years. Like I said we basically picked up where we left off, she laughed at my string of follies when it comes to relationships, and was full of advice on where I could have gone off track. She was, as always, more interested in the sexual aspect of the relationships and always ready to share hers. I think this could be the basis of of our relationship. Sex and crude humour.
Anyway, Friday night I was getting ready to settle on the couch with the Rome HBO series (Pretty good by the way) when I sent out a text asking her why all woman are so crazy (more on this some other time)) Within 20 minute's I get a text back " The bigger your cock, the crazier chicks are. What are you up to? Wanna play with me?" This of course is just the way she is. I sent her a message saying that may be the case with her, and that it's the size of her toybox that spoils her to that belief. We decide to meet for dinner and a few drinks.
The night is going well, we're back to where we always end up, pointing out cute girls and categorizing them to the other. Schoolgirl, Librarian, Dom etc etc.. We make up bad porn plots, amazing blooper reel's all that sort of thing. This is what we've always done, laughed our asses off with and at each other. Being a guy I've always fantasized what it would be like, but also realize that what we have together is what it is and a move to tumble in the sack would change everything, not really something I want to do. (I did say not really, I am a guy after all.
)
I pay the bill as she runs off to the loo and text my pal to see where he's at and if he's interested in meeting for drinks and a hunt. She (names have been removed for the.. not so innocent) comes back and wants to know what we should do next. I tell her that I've texted my friend and that we should go to the Yardhouse for a few drinks while I wait for his reply. ( I should mention here that she has been texting with someone all night so I'm not being rude by texting while I'm out with someone)
We head over and the night continues as it had, with the more drinks consumed the funnier and funnier we seem to be to each other, we compare scar's all that sort of thing. We're there for an hour or so, it's 11:30ish and nothing from the wingman, so I suggest going to another place for cocktails to finish the night. Because I need to get up early and meet someone for lunch (This is the other story) she pays the tab when I run to the loo, so subtle eh? Ha ha.
We head over to Bungalow the night continues, we're both trashed, she keeps apologizing for being 'annoying' I tell her she always annoying and that I'm used to it. All of a sudden she looks at me, soberly almost, and tells me that she's always wanted to fuck, from the first day she met me. Ok, the admission confirms what I guess I knew and wanted as well, nothing new. I just smile and say I've wanted the same.
At this point I start the weighing of the situation, as much as a booze-addled mind can, with a the shag idea winning out. What can I say, even sober it could have gone the same.
She then says that we can't because we'll end up losing what we have etc etc. Ok, confusing, so this didn't need to come up, I though we were both aware and left in unsead for so long because we were on the same page.
Ok, finish my drink, catch a cab home. Good plan. I assure her that I feel the same way, why ruin it all. I'm thinking, what?!?!, don't say that, she's drunk, easily persuaded, it's too late to Shark and she's this close. I shove the thought aside and head off to loo.
I return to the table and there is a guy there. Didn't think anything of it, she's been getting hit on all night, by the time I get there they slink off, or we fall into one story or another to creep the poor prick out.
I sit down to finish my drink and get introduced to Martin, it hit's me. I look at her. "Midnight Marty?" (Her booty call/boyfriend???, never certain. Turns out she's been texting him all night) I get introduced as her best friend, and she subtly let's me know the story she's been telling him about me. I'm pretty angry at being caught so off guard by this, especially after the last few strange twists.
I have a few words with Marty, and more drinks arrive. I'm obligated by my sense of honour to stay and drink his booze. She leaves to hit the head, I'm sitting there trying to guess and provide confirmation to a story I only know parts of. This is rough sober, never mind trashed. I thank him for letting me use her as a wingman and let him know a little about why I was wingless etc etc conversation turns to the Sapprano's. I guess he knows people like this in the city, I laugh and start cracking jokes about trash removal and concrete. A whole tirade of gangster jokes and Italians being the ultimate goons and that the others were all licking the boot heels of the cosanostra(sp??) (He's Russian) Maybe not the best idea, but really, I'm not going to take threats from some try hard mook.
I finish my drink, thank them both for the wonderful evening and make for the door. She asks me to call her when I get home so she knows I'm ok. This is where it gets really fucked. She grabs me and tries to kiss me, I do the step and yank of my head to avoid it, but she connects, I take a further step back out of her reach but against the wall. She grabs me on both sides of my head as I'm trying to 'protest' and slips her tongue in my mouth. It only last for half a second, as I sidestep. But in that half second I decide to glance over at Marty and wink. I couldn't help it. I walk out of the bar with a grin, deciding to save the laugh for the cab.
She's been texting and calling since then, asking for confirmation of her kissing me. I'll answer her Monday, take my chances with the Russian mob. Please, this is Calgary. Fucking twat.
My point to this tale, none, just another day. Re-reading this I seem the self centered prat, brag brag brag. I swear that's not really it, I'm looking for someone to clarify this confusing turn of events and to provide an outlook of where and what to do. I'm at a loss.
I have a good friend I've known for 7ish years, we've been in and out of contact for years at a time, but every time we talk we pick up where we left off. Our sense of humour is carbon copy to each other. Lately we've entered into a period of regular chat and texts.
We went for dinner to check each other out and as well as to see what the others been up to over the last few years. Like I said we basically picked up where we left off, she laughed at my string of follies when it comes to relationships, and was full of advice on where I could have gone off track. She was, as always, more interested in the sexual aspect of the relationships and always ready to share hers. I think this could be the basis of of our relationship. Sex and crude humour.
Anyway, Friday night I was getting ready to settle on the couch with the Rome HBO series (Pretty good by the way) when I sent out a text asking her why all woman are so crazy (more on this some other time)) Within 20 minute's I get a text back " The bigger your cock, the crazier chicks are. What are you up to? Wanna play with me?" This of course is just the way she is. I sent her a message saying that may be the case with her, and that it's the size of her toybox that spoils her to that belief. We decide to meet for dinner and a few drinks.
The night is going well, we're back to where we always end up, pointing out cute girls and categorizing them to the other. Schoolgirl, Librarian, Dom etc etc.. We make up bad porn plots, amazing blooper reel's all that sort of thing. This is what we've always done, laughed our asses off with and at each other. Being a guy I've always fantasized what it would be like, but also realize that what we have together is what it is and a move to tumble in the sack would change everything, not really something I want to do. (I did say not really, I am a guy after all.
)
I pay the bill as she runs off to the loo and text my pal to see where he's at and if he's interested in meeting for drinks and a hunt. She (names have been removed for the.. not so innocent) comes back and wants to know what we should do next. I tell her that I've texted my friend and that we should go to the Yardhouse for a few drinks while I wait for his reply. ( I should mention here that she has been texting with someone all night so I'm not being rude by texting while I'm out with someone)
We head over and the night continues as it had, with the more drinks consumed the funnier and funnier we seem to be to each other, we compare scar's all that sort of thing. We're there for an hour or so, it's 11:30ish and nothing from the wingman, so I suggest going to another place for cocktails to finish the night. Because I need to get up early and meet someone for lunch (This is the other story) she pays the tab when I run to the loo, so subtle eh? Ha ha.
We head over to Bungalow the night continues, we're both trashed, she keeps apologizing for being 'annoying' I tell her she always annoying and that I'm used to it. All of a sudden she looks at me, soberly almost, and tells me that she's always wanted to fuck, from the first day she met me. Ok, the admission confirms what I guess I knew and wanted as well, nothing new. I just smile and say I've wanted the same.
At this point I start the weighing of the situation, as much as a booze-addled mind can, with a the shag idea winning out. What can I say, even sober it could have gone the same.
She then says that we can't because we'll end up losing what we have etc etc. Ok, confusing, so this didn't need to come up, I though we were both aware and left in unsead for so long because we were on the same page.
Ok, finish my drink, catch a cab home. Good plan. I assure her that I feel the same way, why ruin it all. I'm thinking, what?!?!, don't say that, she's drunk, easily persuaded, it's too late to Shark and she's this close. I shove the thought aside and head off to loo.
I return to the table and there is a guy there. Didn't think anything of it, she's been getting hit on all night, by the time I get there they slink off, or we fall into one story or another to creep the poor prick out.
I sit down to finish my drink and get introduced to Martin, it hit's me. I look at her. "Midnight Marty?" (Her booty call/boyfriend???, never certain. Turns out she's been texting him all night) I get introduced as her best friend, and she subtly let's me know the story she's been telling him about me. I'm pretty angry at being caught so off guard by this, especially after the last few strange twists.
I have a few words with Marty, and more drinks arrive. I'm obligated by my sense of honour to stay and drink his booze. She leaves to hit the head, I'm sitting there trying to guess and provide confirmation to a story I only know parts of. This is rough sober, never mind trashed. I thank him for letting me use her as a wingman and let him know a little about why I was wingless etc etc conversation turns to the Sapprano's. I guess he knows people like this in the city, I laugh and start cracking jokes about trash removal and concrete. A whole tirade of gangster jokes and Italians being the ultimate goons and that the others were all licking the boot heels of the cosanostra(sp??) (He's Russian) Maybe not the best idea, but really, I'm not going to take threats from some try hard mook.
I finish my drink, thank them both for the wonderful evening and make for the door. She asks me to call her when I get home so she knows I'm ok. This is where it gets really fucked. She grabs me and tries to kiss me, I do the step and yank of my head to avoid it, but she connects, I take a further step back out of her reach but against the wall. She grabs me on both sides of my head as I'm trying to 'protest' and slips her tongue in my mouth. It only last for half a second, as I sidestep. But in that half second I decide to glance over at Marty and wink. I couldn't help it. I walk out of the bar with a grin, deciding to save the laugh for the cab.
She's been texting and calling since then, asking for confirmation of her kissing me. I'll answer her Monday, take my chances with the Russian mob. Please, this is Calgary. Fucking twat.
My point to this tale, none, just another day. Re-reading this I seem the self centered prat, brag brag brag. I swear that's not really it, I'm looking for someone to clarify this confusing turn of events and to provide an outlook of where and what to do. I'm at a loss.
instead I'm having lack of sex induced migraines.
fuck.