So here's to my first real journal entry...
Ok on Dec 26, i walked out on my job, never to look back again. i was a server, and i just had enough. The entire holiday season ppl were just shitty. You'd expect ppl to be more "jolly" or w/e. But no! grouchy little fucks everyone was. So i worked x-mas eve, no big deal. But again ppl are shitty, it's fucking xmas eve!!! Fuck i am here serving you w/ your whole family, when i would much rather be home or out w/ my family, and you cant even be nice to me?! nice? ok i get it im your server and for like an hour sure i guess you can call me your bitch, fine! But i am dealling with your food?! Hello? Stupidity. Honestly, never really fucked with the food, but i might have let you use forks i might of accidently dropped on the floor.
Alright whatever its 02/01/05, still no job, havent i told you... there is NOTHING, nothing in Fairfield. Im broke, barely feeding myself once a day, im not looking for sympathy (well at least not yet) But im not miserable. Thats the point im trying to point out.
i wake up. blah blah. walk to my car, why is the seat bent foward? open car door which is NOT locked. Sit down, papers are everywhere (well if youve been in my car before, you'd know thats perfectly normal) my cd player GONE, nothing but a big whole. I call my byfd and started to cry, as im talking i reach down, right in between the drivers seat and door. Nothing. 24 of my absolute, cant live with out CD's. GONE! OMG i just cried. My life is my music, it will always be there, and it's gone.
im driving in my car, the most alone ive ever been. Complete silence. All i can think is how much money ive put into those round compact bundles of joy. And how completely meaningless they would be to ANYBODY else. i can almost 100% bet that they are all together sitting in a trash can somewhere.
i just look at my car, now with a huge hole in the middle, and i see... we are one in the same. thats how i feel. as much as i try to tell myself i hate that car. its a 93, i wanted a 99. its ugly bright teal, i wanted black or red. my speakers suck, no a/c. it struggles on hills. and so on. but that car is me. it so many ways. and now its empty, just like me. w/ out it's radio it doesnt feel complete, and me without my priceless CDs, i dont feel complete.
That radio was actually the very first thing i spent good money on, that i worked for. usually the expensive things were money saved from xmas or bdays. and someone i dont even know, possibly never even seen completely took that away from me. They took so much from me, caused me soo much pain and dont even know me. dont get me wrong i knew kids in high school that used to do this and never really gave it much thought. but i guess its true you really never learn until it happens to you. so hey if some one out there gets a feeeling to break into someones car go do it maybe its the bitch that stole my shit!! revenge would heal me... only my CDs and my radio.
sorry i went on for awhile, i got a lot in me right now, and trust me i could go on...
Another downer... Rise Against o2/12, im not going cuz i dont have any money, but worst i cant even listen to their music, i think that depresses me more than anything. they took my rise against away. and i have no subsitute for them.
Ok on Dec 26, i walked out on my job, never to look back again. i was a server, and i just had enough. The entire holiday season ppl were just shitty. You'd expect ppl to be more "jolly" or w/e. But no! grouchy little fucks everyone was. So i worked x-mas eve, no big deal. But again ppl are shitty, it's fucking xmas eve!!! Fuck i am here serving you w/ your whole family, when i would much rather be home or out w/ my family, and you cant even be nice to me?! nice? ok i get it im your server and for like an hour sure i guess you can call me your bitch, fine! But i am dealling with your food?! Hello? Stupidity. Honestly, never really fucked with the food, but i might have let you use forks i might of accidently dropped on the floor.
Alright whatever its 02/01/05, still no job, havent i told you... there is NOTHING, nothing in Fairfield. Im broke, barely feeding myself once a day, im not looking for sympathy (well at least not yet) But im not miserable. Thats the point im trying to point out.
i wake up. blah blah. walk to my car, why is the seat bent foward? open car door which is NOT locked. Sit down, papers are everywhere (well if youve been in my car before, you'd know thats perfectly normal) my cd player GONE, nothing but a big whole. I call my byfd and started to cry, as im talking i reach down, right in between the drivers seat and door. Nothing. 24 of my absolute, cant live with out CD's. GONE! OMG i just cried. My life is my music, it will always be there, and it's gone.
im driving in my car, the most alone ive ever been. Complete silence. All i can think is how much money ive put into those round compact bundles of joy. And how completely meaningless they would be to ANYBODY else. i can almost 100% bet that they are all together sitting in a trash can somewhere.
i just look at my car, now with a huge hole in the middle, and i see... we are one in the same. thats how i feel. as much as i try to tell myself i hate that car. its a 93, i wanted a 99. its ugly bright teal, i wanted black or red. my speakers suck, no a/c. it struggles on hills. and so on. but that car is me. it so many ways. and now its empty, just like me. w/ out it's radio it doesnt feel complete, and me without my priceless CDs, i dont feel complete.
That radio was actually the very first thing i spent good money on, that i worked for. usually the expensive things were money saved from xmas or bdays. and someone i dont even know, possibly never even seen completely took that away from me. They took so much from me, caused me soo much pain and dont even know me. dont get me wrong i knew kids in high school that used to do this and never really gave it much thought. but i guess its true you really never learn until it happens to you. so hey if some one out there gets a feeeling to break into someones car go do it maybe its the bitch that stole my shit!! revenge would heal me... only my CDs and my radio.
sorry i went on for awhile, i got a lot in me right now, and trust me i could go on...
Another downer... Rise Against o2/12, im not going cuz i dont have any money, but worst i cant even listen to their music, i think that depresses me more than anything. they took my rise against away. and i have no subsitute for them.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Your birthday is on the same day as mine, funky exept it's a year after
Good luck on your job hunt. I'm sure things will get better.
Drop a line some time