stupid is as stupid does and i can be and do very stupid things sometimes. but i realised why i get possive clingy and freaked out, my daddy left me so long ago i do not remember his face, he tryed to keep in contact untill my grandfather told him not to, why did he listen? why did he not try harder? i think these are the reasons i cling to my husband so much, i think these are the reasons i reak out when he leaves, because i worry he is never coming back.
so i freak out calling and txting him like 50 times and then i txt and call the people he is with, i need help is there anyone who can help me keep from fearing this? i try and trust he will come back even thoug h he walked out on me once before leaving me with 3 children all by myself, oh well i will try and not freak out but we need to move asap, we are supose to be in DC before christmas. Thank the great gods of mount olymous.
i am just great full he came back i have ver y bad abandoment issiues from my dad to my mom, i have toalked to mental dr.s they say no medication will help i just need to put it in my brain that everything is fine.
you are all probly like ok this girl is nuts and will probly stop talking to me. great just what i need more peole to abandon me ha ha ha
see i do have a funny side to me, ok well i will get in trouble soon so i will talk to you later!
UPDATE 4:41 why do i act this way i just wish someone would understand and explain it to me so i would know and i wish it would not make him so mad that i do it. i can not help it sometimes i try not to say anything i try and not freak out on him i try not to worry but i can not get these freak outs to stop.
i want to stop freaking out on him and let him breath and feel comfertable wit h me i want ot feel comfertable with him i want to work on our relationship but i do not understand y i do the things i do. how do i get over freaking out when he leaves?
how can i get my emotions undercontrol with out a shreank or medication?
update 530 i want to stop crying i want ot stop worrying about him i want to stop making sure he is coming back i want to trust that he will. i want to trust him.
i want work thing out between us i want ot move from this place.
update 7 18
ok Frankeng gave me this advise
"well other than that i know he done it before to you and that he came back i know that scare you bc of your dad you need to just try one night to sit down when he gone even if it with her and relax tell your self that he'll behome maybe not now or later but he be home wait like 4 hour then call just to ask if he goin to come home (not 1,2,3 but 4) it will be hard i know i have the same thing but they put me on meds then you need to tell your self your beutful and that you know he love you b/c he came back to you. on that you should try to ask if you could go with them one they or even invite her over for dinner try to show that you know there friend and you can live with it even if it fke. if you can't do that one then....."
well i tryed to and none of that has worked
UPDATE 8:32 pm
ok tursday he went out came home friday evening said he left his friends house to go to work at 500am, and that he lost his phone.
ok, saturday he took the rental car back and got a new one, then he came home and then at 200pm he went back to friends house to see if he left his phone there, then he was home for dinner and then went ot a bbq at a nother friends house, should i trust him or should i not these are the questions that go thru my mind every time he goes out oo and the last time i went out was right before halloween and that was to the bar down the street for an hr.
argh!
update 241am sunday
ok he went to "bbq" at fiends house "i won't drink i won't be gone to long" my ass i am so tired of his all nighters hello if you ahve a family and kids are you supose to spend all night out?
Update 502 pm sunday
woke up at 700 this morning to the door bell ringing he said i was home at one o'clock the door was locked so i did not want to wake up anyone in the house so i slepet in the car, if the lights are on i am awake i was up till 400 this morning argh.
so i freak out calling and txting him like 50 times and then i txt and call the people he is with, i need help is there anyone who can help me keep from fearing this? i try and trust he will come back even thoug h he walked out on me once before leaving me with 3 children all by myself, oh well i will try and not freak out but we need to move asap, we are supose to be in DC before christmas. Thank the great gods of mount olymous.
i am just great full he came back i have ver y bad abandoment issiues from my dad to my mom, i have toalked to mental dr.s they say no medication will help i just need to put it in my brain that everything is fine.
you are all probly like ok this girl is nuts and will probly stop talking to me. great just what i need more peole to abandon me ha ha ha
see i do have a funny side to me, ok well i will get in trouble soon so i will talk to you later!
UPDATE 4:41 why do i act this way i just wish someone would understand and explain it to me so i would know and i wish it would not make him so mad that i do it. i can not help it sometimes i try not to say anything i try and not freak out on him i try not to worry but i can not get these freak outs to stop.
i want to stop freaking out on him and let him breath and feel comfertable wit h me i want ot feel comfertable with him i want to work on our relationship but i do not understand y i do the things i do. how do i get over freaking out when he leaves?
how can i get my emotions undercontrol with out a shreank or medication?
update 530 i want to stop crying i want ot stop worrying about him i want to stop making sure he is coming back i want to trust that he will. i want to trust him.
i want work thing out between us i want ot move from this place.
update 7 18
ok Frankeng gave me this advise
"well other than that i know he done it before to you and that he came back i know that scare you bc of your dad you need to just try one night to sit down when he gone even if it with her and relax tell your self that he'll behome maybe not now or later but he be home wait like 4 hour then call just to ask if he goin to come home (not 1,2,3 but 4) it will be hard i know i have the same thing but they put me on meds then you need to tell your self your beutful and that you know he love you b/c he came back to you. on that you should try to ask if you could go with them one they or even invite her over for dinner try to show that you know there friend and you can live with it even if it fke. if you can't do that one then....."
well i tryed to and none of that has worked
UPDATE 8:32 pm
ok tursday he went out came home friday evening said he left his friends house to go to work at 500am, and that he lost his phone.
ok, saturday he took the rental car back and got a new one, then he came home and then at 200pm he went back to friends house to see if he left his phone there, then he was home for dinner and then went ot a bbq at a nother friends house, should i trust him or should i not these are the questions that go thru my mind every time he goes out oo and the last time i went out was right before halloween and that was to the bar down the street for an hr.
argh!
update 241am sunday
ok he went to "bbq" at fiends house "i won't drink i won't be gone to long" my ass i am so tired of his all nighters hello if you ahve a family and kids are you supose to spend all night out?
Update 502 pm sunday
woke up at 700 this morning to the door bell ringing he said i was home at one o'clock the door was locked so i did not want to wake up anyone in the house so i slepet in the car, if the lights are on i am awake i was up till 400 this morning argh.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
drunkpandainc:
We..i have issues with being ingnored....i guess you can call that a quazi abandonment issue. I saw 4 shrinks when i was in the marines....they dont help at all. I cant really give you advice other than to hit him with a frying pan. Dont listen to me imma freak. laters
andromeda:
Well, your not crazy. For starters realizing that you have abandonment issues means your one smart cookie. Some women never realize it, their entire lives. I too had abandonment issues. A dead beat fuckin asshole father. It will take time to work through these issues. You need to stop being afraid of getting left behind. Realize that you are your own person, and you can live without anyone else in your life. Once you stop being afraid of being left, you can start being confident. Confidence will make things so much better. It will bring trust. And no relationship is good without trust. Just remember it takes time. Try taking small steps to change your behavior one day at a time. Take life one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Try to not think so much about the future, try thinking about just the moment. I hope this helps sweet one.