faeryrae

i hate having a cold. I hate being so down. I hate being blamed for somthing i didnt do. my brohter has been gone two days now. I miss him a lot. now its back to livinvg with my parents who dnot give a shit about me. I hate this lonelyness i feel. I need to get the hell out of here. I need to...
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people are strange when you're a stranger, people seem wicked when you're alone. when you're strange, no one remembers your name when you're strange. i am a total turn off since i am down on myself... i been told that. but its hard not to be when you have mental illnesses and been called names all your life. always being in the shadows never being...
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i do some stupid shit i really do but i dont want to admit to my stupidity. i saw red hot chili peppers and queen of the stoneage tonight with my ex. we had gotten tickets before we broke up. it was awesome and i had fun. i went to the mall with my brother today and had a really fun time. it was so...
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i hate feeling sick. My throat hurts and i have a headache. Also I hate when guys dont call when they say they do but they dont. this one guy i been talking to who lives near me started talking to me online and says he is totally into me but he never calls. He says he is too busy. I dont know. I shouldnt...
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i watched this really bad 80's flick with Paulsandman the other night. we even made a drinking game for it. you'd be drunk off your ass in 15 min. i swear. Paul is such a great guy and funny as hell. my brother is home. he has changed so much. so grown up, a neat freak, has a good head on his shoulders, doesnt have...
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added some pics up in my pic section. i went to a concert last night and had fun though the 300 pound guy who pushed me into the pit was an asshole. my brother comes home today. happy about that. i hate cleaning... i am jealous of many things right now. that i dont want to get into really. i just hate the feeling. i...
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i figured that it was meant for me not to drive. i cant go anywhere, cant see people, cant go to parties, cant meet new people, cant leave the hell that is my home, etc. i have no life but school and work. so i sit at home and get fat. i am waiting for when my brother comes home from boot camp. it will...
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i dont know why i try sometimes. i really dont. but i am not going to go into my pain here. hope everyone is doing well.

i am so sick of my ex calling me nonstop and it is pissing me off. i miss Kungfukender i want to be near him. but i dont know. i am alone right now and wish not to be. i know i should use this time to reflect on myself and whatever but i dont know. i still long to be held and kissed. ah...
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i broke up with my boyfriend. i am finally able to stand up for myself. school is alright. work is hell i need a new job so bad. i miss talking to my best friend mike. its werid being single after being with someone for two years. very odd. my family is in shock since they for some reason liked him alot. ah well nothing...
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