Sunday Jan 18, 2004

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i honestly suck. i see no good in me. i know a lot of people hate reading about how others feel like shit but i have no other real way so i will here. i am back to working like three-four days a week again and have school. i seem to not make myself or others happy. i thought i was getting better. i thought...
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rae:

hey there rae, just wanted to say hello... take care sweetie

beledi:

don't say 'no one really cares'. it's entirely not true.

i know it's hard to like one's life. i used to go through that a lot. but then somehow, one day, i sat down and thought about the good things that a i did have. and while they were vastly outnumbered by the bad, i did have some good things about me and in my life, and that helped. so i started to focus on them, and then things got a bit better. and i was less miserable. and now, things are pretty good. sure, there are days when it's all pure shit, but you have to take it one day at a time, and hope that the next day is better. usually it is.

*hugs* from a stranger.

Wednesday Jan 14, 2004

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ello all. miss you all. hope all is well. i start school tomorrow which is the 15th. i got my books and paid tution yesterday. i am taking french up agin and i looked through the books and realized i should just test out of it. i took three years in high school. its so extremly easy. the concert i went to with my best...
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anger:

In school!! In school!! Awesome awesome. I'm thirty today. Come say hi and give love. biggrin biggrin biggrin

codemonkeym:

Take French. At some of your classes will be easy.
Maybe take some other language(s), too. biggrin

I'll try to wish better logistics for you brother, make
sure he gets all the food and supplies he needs! smile

ooo aaa ooo aaa ooo aaa

Monday Jan 05, 2004

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Hello all. hope your new years was good. Mine was good. I went to a friend's house party. too bad i was the oldest one there and there was no booze at all! I got to see my best friend mike and it was so much fun. I got to see a lot of people from high school i havent seen in so long...
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tailspin:

*Wave*

Happy (belated) New Year, Rae.

Be well... smile

tarnish:

Hey Sweet thang! how are you? It's been so long since we talked last.
I hope all is well with you and I hope you have/had fun at your concert. Take care,

Nikki

Sunday Dec 21, 2003

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i know its been like forever since i added anything but just nothing to say. My brother is home and with friends right now. getting home for the hoildays was hell and stressful, fucking airlines. I am going with Lord of the Rings crazyness. I havent been able to see the return of the king and its driving me mad. School ended last monday and...
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peart:

happy new year!

osoesoteric:

happy new year biggrin

update!!!

Friday Dec 05, 2003

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My group is up! Thanks to zenhell for letting me know it was up. I am so excited!!!! Its a group for beatle fans. biggrin its a public group so all can join. things have been super stressful and my group being up actually makes me happy. Since stress is killing me and putting me down in the dumps. my web site for my final exams...
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rae:

hey rae.... how are you

tarnish:

Hi sweet thang! I need to go x-mas shopping too. I guess I will be doing that tonight. It sucks when I have to go christmas shopping with the money I get as a christmas gift. But I really want to get something nice for my husband. It's so hard to shop for him though.

I am totally joining your group. I have a pretty cool collection of beatles stuff going on over here. A lot of it is really old kick ass stuff that Derek's mom gave me. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. I hope you mood continues to improve. biggrin

Monday Nov 24, 2003

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ever just burst into tears and wish you could say why but you cant? when your heart is about to expload and you cant find a way to stop the pain? i wish there was something i could do. I have no where to go but yet no home either. I sit in my room and just try to deal with the pain. I hate...
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zenhell:

hi

i like your new group


The Beatles

skull

ZH

paulsandman:

Sometiems crying can help hun *hugs* and I know I haven't been around alot lately but I am here for you smile

Thursday Nov 20, 2003

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My brother is spending thanksgiving on an indian reservations since they kick them off the base for thanksgiving. My ankle is feeling better. The winter depression is starting. I feel like total shit and the cutting in my sleep hasnt stoped. I am so lonely too. I just have to get use to this life of solitude. I been trying to hide behind a smile...
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octoberseven:

I am so lonely too. I just have to get use to this life of solitude.

You're not alone sweety, remember that.

stgeorge:

No-ones alone on hear.

Wednesday Nov 19, 2003

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I still am kind of pissed i had to change my orignal name so a SG could have it. But she is very pretty and i guess she can have it. even though Rae had VERY specail meaning to me. I guess the more beautiful are more deserving anyway. life blows. I havent heard from my brother in a week and that sucks. I went...
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edc:

Rae is very nice i doubt she would have asked for the name if she new. I most know for sure she would not have if she knew you.

I need to start talking more in the self cutting group i am sorry.

edc

rae:

You are still the original rae to everybody... "OG RAE"You are the first Rae here in SG smile

Wednesday Nov 12, 2003

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sleet and rain and cold. got to love wisconsin in november. i am really sick today. and been a bit depressed. I threw up when my mum told me my brother will be going to Iraq. Sometime in the begining of 2004. I been trying to hide the tears but i cant. I dont want my little brother there. I know this is what he...
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stgeorge:

I know it's bad news for you, about your brother. But if that's what he wants to do, you need to be supportive. Don't let him see you cry. Do that in privacy, you know my shoulder is here for you.

peart:

I got a job pretty neat. I rather stay off my feet. And talk to you as a treat.

Friday Nov 07, 2003

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more and more of my friends go gray. I dont like that one bit. I just been sitting here at home in my room listening to my paul mccartney cds. i am up to 1979 the back ot the egg album. last one from his band wings. only like four songs that are good on it. i havent listened to these cds in a row...
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bluefreak:

woo hoo im loved biggrin Paul was always my fav beatle. i dont care how old he is i would marry him. yeah im a sick fucker but hey its a beatle we are talking about.


take care
bok

paulsandman:

You are always a comfort hun.