This week my blog homework is going to be to write up a synopsis and casting list for the story of my life, I never considered making my life (such boring, no fun) into a movie, but this can be a little fun to do while sweating my ass off in this summer heat.
The movie to play out my life would fall somewhere in the lines of comedy and horror, I guess it would either be one of those really cheesy bad horror flicks (like The Blob) or something like Idle Hands.
The movie cover would be simple, plain black with the title on the cover. The back would read:
For the love of all things do not DO NOT watch this movie. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
….P.S: I double dare you to watch this movie.
The outline would be something like this(real names changed for dramatic 'inspired by true events' statement):
Kobra is your average alien from Pluto, not quite human enough to fit in but definitely alien enough to try!
Crash landing to Earth after a disagreement with her shipmate (and pet monkey) Rambo, ended with her kicked off of her ship unexpectedly, Kobra has no choice but to take on the human form and learn the ways of probably one of the most idiotic species known to....well ….itself.
From dabbling in the occult to falling prey to the human mind. Sometimes Kobra has only one thing running through her thoughts..... souls to sacrifice to her planets ruler.
Oh and getting back to her ship.
The main characters in the movie The Sugar Alien That Fell From Space. (I have officially decided in the last five minutes, and maybe the cover would have a cupcake.. yum yum.)
Kobra: An alien that lives off intense sugar fixes and insane amounts of rainbow plasma created from the dreams of fantasy creatures. Played by Elizabeth Banks, because she works well in the comedy genre, can play the role of a drop out mess (me...or err....Kobra...) and is guaranteed to make you piss yourself laughing when delivering the lines.
W.D (Short for his pet name Willy Dribble): Possible Love interest that doesn't fully understand what selling his soul has cost him, but he's to interested in the things going on in his head to really notice anyway. Played by: Jake Gyllenhaal (did you see his role as Donnie Darko?!) With that mesmerizing far away look and the ability to play a delinquent that's not quite normal he is perfect for Kobra!
Stinky: Kobra has an older brother who went to earth on a mission to control the world and was captured by the wild impulses of human nature, Kobra at one point conjures a plan to help him succeed with his world domination...with the use of a possum army. Playing his role: Toby Kebbell, captured by his fantastic role in Rock N Rolla, Kebbell pretty much sums up Kobra's Brother in both attitude and style proving he can play the part of business and party animal and all time bad ass!
THE QUEEN: As a alien Kobra knows when someone is not human, this creature is trying to control the world with her 'politicians' they are the enemies of the movie, they are aliens from a planet named Hozara, where they failed so epically that no life can grow, thus they planet hopped (such a popular thing these days) and are now replaying the exact same things that destroyed their last planet. Playing her part is a new Actress...Didi Almontes. (would hate to have a famous actress killed off for portraying her as her true self) ;)
Fimo: Voiced by Tim Curry: Kobra has friend on the other side after having a few to many games with Ouija Boards and black mirrors, Fimo is a lingering friend that offers spiritual protection to her human body.... It knows she is an alien, it wants her body when she is done with it.
Keeper: Human friend that doesn't believe in anything....like not even that butter has a fat content.Full of sarcastic comments and a warped imagination, put her with Kobra and W.D and trouble is imminent. Playing her part is Helena Bonham Carter, her wild attitude and mysterious vibe is perfect, plus she has the edgy look!
Rambo: Hench monkey that gets mad as fuck a little to easily and a little to quickly throws shipmates overboard from ridiculous heights.... (not yet forgiven.) Played by another evil (not quite as hench) monkey.
Eloha: Eloha is Kobra's emotions, sex drive and alter ego, she is the exact opposite of Kobra, and yet... she lingers within the world waiting to return back to her alien being, making two souls one, once more. Played by Natasha Lyonne because she has the laid back attitude and she can smooth talk her way back to Pluto if necessary, the girl can be fighter and lover. Just what is needed!
Lastly
Mozart!: Ruler of Pluto (and no its not the musical person) Mozart is full of surprises....and sugar. Playing his part is Cookie Monster, with his love of cookies and his often misunderstood darker self... it only seems right....but you would have to watch the movie to find out why ;)
Hope you enjoyed the casting of my movie, you can expect to see it air on T.V when I have safely returned back to my spaceship made of fingernails and bogies...you know... just so the Government cant catch me ;)
x
