Lets break this blog down:
To say yes: security, equality, respect.
Wedding: steam punk fantasy masquerade
honeymoon: lots of sex and somewhere hot for a week maybe two but don't worry we can share the tab!
Likelihood of ever happening ….25%
It's not very often that I talk of getting married, usually its just a passing comment in conversation, usually with next to no thought. Generally I tend to shy away from the topic, because franky...the idea terrifies me. Why? Because its needlessly expensive and makes me think of having to settle down into some sort of lifestyle that I am just not ready for. (its probably not always the case but still... I've heard the rhymes!!)
The other day whilst walking home with a work mate I was asked when me and my current partner would be getting married. My response was pretty swift and a definite 'We're not.' Most people drop the subject at that but he decided to question it. To which I really didn't have much of an answer other than the usual 'too young to settle blah blah.' He commented that he had got married at 22 and had been with his wifey for 16 years in total, I was quite surprised as he isn't much older than me.
So for a blog post I thought I would do a marriage theme, pretty much making me think about what sort of person I would consider saying yes to and what sort of wedding I would want. The idea is already unsettling me.
This took a couple of hours of thinking as I couldn't help reminding myself that this would be a person I would have to live with forever, none of this 2 years then break up bullshit. Which ultimately made me want to set extreme standards which I myself couldn't reach. But after a little thought and a lot of floor sweeping I came to this conclusion.
The unfortunate soul would have to at least have this to offer.
Security: I mean this both financially and emotionally, the thought of being married to someone who could be spending their whole time in a pub drinking or gambling their earnings or not actually earning anything really made me cringe, I am not a gold digger by any means, however if he can't earn his own money and isn't financially stable and is going to be relying on me the majority of the time, I wouldn't want that to be a death do us part commitment.
Equality: Almost all relationships have someone who gives more than the other in different aspect of the relationship, he may be better at arranging holidays, she may be a more caring lover. Its about compromise. However one thing I find I do all the time in my current relationship is mother of all chores. I go to work I come home and do what I come to call 'the woman chores.' EG. Clean the house, clean the pets, wash and put away clothes, only ever is it that the dishes are done often for me, unless I ask otherwise. THIS gets on my nerves to no end. Chores and bills should be split equally. Otherwise I would end up feeling like I have adopted a grown child not married a lover.
Respect: This is a big one, it fills all the other categories of loyalty, trust, commitment etc. The main thing that is going to get me to say yes to that person would be the respect they show consistently. I sure as hell wouldn't take on someone who tries to belittle and curse at me every other day. Nor would I entertain the idea of marrying a person who lacks trust in me. It is just asking for problems.
I would like to say that at the end of the day if you love someone regardless of their flaws there is no reason not to marry them....but that's just not true, and this isn't a Cinderella story. The reason I feel I would marry would be partly to do with love but a lot to do with how well suited we are together in the more important aspects of life.
Okay so would the person who fills this description please stand up with your tats on show! ;]
Any way, moving on to the actual wedding, this didn't take very long as I have thought about this when asked 'What would your wedding be like?' by friends or family.
I have for a long time liked the idea of a steam punk masquerade wedding that will see all or most of my 10 guests (lolz! I don't expect many people) to attend with a masque of sort. Picture the scene in the Labyrinth with the ballroom and the goblin king....because that song (As the world falls down) would totally be my first dance tune if I had my way!
Then once that's over with I'd take my official partner in crime away and have crazy honeymoon sex until dawn then pass out in a flumpy bed till mid-day only to awaken feeling rougher than Ghandi's sandal, with lipstick (lets say...bright red!) smeared up my face, panda eyes and a grin that is way to suggestive for someone who probably can't feel anything from the waist down. ;)
