I cant believe that as of tomorrow it will be June already. The year is almost half over already. Thats crazy
Im feeling left out again. Today on the yahoo group for the league that I want to join, and I had been practicing with, I found out that a lot of girls that started when I did were accepted into the league. Yes Im happy for them. A few of them have even become friends of mine. But what is bothering me is that if I hadnt broken my ankle I feel I would have been on that list today. : ( People keep telling me that I will be fine. My mom keeps telling me that if I had lost weight this would be easier, that I need to exercise and lose weight now. How the fuck am I supposed to go exercise if I cant even walk on both feet without help!?!? I walked around quite a bit yesterday and I was repaid by having to shorten my cool shower because my legs were shaking. My right let hurts constantly when I walk. Im going to look lopsided because my right leg is going to be bigger than my left. My left leg hurts all the time and I have to stretch it constantly to loosen the muscles. It hurts but then to stretch also hurts. Im tired. Im tired of having others do everything for me. Im tired of not being able to do tours at work because I cant walk. Im tired of it taking me 5 minutes, sometimes more, to go from my car to inside the house. Im tired of not being about to carry anything heavier than a small bag. I cant carry an open soda around or even a plate of food. I have to feed the cats by putting the food on the floor then pushing the plates across the floor with a crutch. Im always physically tired and Im getting to the point that my brain is mush all the time. I guess its good that Im starting to walk. My upper arms are getting slimmer. Justin says that my thighs and butt are more defined, before they were less defined and more meshed together. My face is getting a bit slimmer. Im eating a lot less because most of the time I forget to have Justin pick me up foods that I can make when he isnt home. : ( Most of the time I have to wait for him to come home to eat or do much of anything. My life currently consists of work, playing on my computer, sleep (trying to anyway) and reading. I want to be able to go to the mall if I want to, I havent been there in about a month. Me and Justin used to go there and just walk around and not spend any money. I cant make it into many of my friends places because of stairs. Not that we really have the money to go many places anyway.
Im feeling left out again. Today on the yahoo group for the league that I want to join, and I had been practicing with, I found out that a lot of girls that started when I did were accepted into the league. Yes Im happy for them. A few of them have even become friends of mine. But what is bothering me is that if I hadnt broken my ankle I feel I would have been on that list today. : ( People keep telling me that I will be fine. My mom keeps telling me that if I had lost weight this would be easier, that I need to exercise and lose weight now. How the fuck am I supposed to go exercise if I cant even walk on both feet without help!?!? I walked around quite a bit yesterday and I was repaid by having to shorten my cool shower because my legs were shaking. My right let hurts constantly when I walk. Im going to look lopsided because my right leg is going to be bigger than my left. My left leg hurts all the time and I have to stretch it constantly to loosen the muscles. It hurts but then to stretch also hurts. Im tired. Im tired of having others do everything for me. Im tired of not being able to do tours at work because I cant walk. Im tired of it taking me 5 minutes, sometimes more, to go from my car to inside the house. Im tired of not being about to carry anything heavier than a small bag. I cant carry an open soda around or even a plate of food. I have to feed the cats by putting the food on the floor then pushing the plates across the floor with a crutch. Im always physically tired and Im getting to the point that my brain is mush all the time. I guess its good that Im starting to walk. My upper arms are getting slimmer. Justin says that my thighs and butt are more defined, before they were less defined and more meshed together. My face is getting a bit slimmer. Im eating a lot less because most of the time I forget to have Justin pick me up foods that I can make when he isnt home. : ( Most of the time I have to wait for him to come home to eat or do much of anything. My life currently consists of work, playing on my computer, sleep (trying to anyway) and reading. I want to be able to go to the mall if I want to, I havent been there in about a month. Me and Justin used to go there and just walk around and not spend any money. I cant make it into many of my friends places because of stairs. Not that we really have the money to go many places anyway.