It's fucking hard to tell someone that you're in love with him.
Especially when he's stationed six hours away (driving the legal speed limit. Fuck the W. KY Pkwy!)
And he has to leave every other year to go to that fucking litterbox.
Sorry that my past 2304872 entries have been about Matt, but I'm trying to work out all this shit. I've never been in love before. And it's scary and it's hard and it hurts.
When something good happens, I want to tell him. When something bad happens, or I'm hurt, I want to be by him. When he's had a rough day, I want to hold him. When I'm with him, I'm home, even if I'm 300 miles from my own bed. When he holds me, I can let go of everything. I can tell him everything. Except that I love him.
I'm afraid of what it would do to his head. THat sounds so bizarre. But we have this unspoken thing between us that's stronger than anything I've ever experienced. We hint around it and drop clues all the time to let each other know how we feel. And it's best that way. Or not. It's easier for him. He's scared, too.
I can't blame him.
Since joining the Army, he's dated some crazy, stupid bitches who've used him and run him through the ringer. That's why he likes me so much. I'm low maintenance, ask for nothing, and we can talk for hours about anything.
I'm afraid that if I tell him, he'll get upset or scared and I'll lose him. But I don't want him to leave again (he's being redeployed for 13-18 months to one of the worst parts of Baghdad this summer) without knowing how I feel. I can't lose him without letting him know.
Fuck.
How can someone who makes me feel so amazing make me cry without even knowing it??????
I know a few of you have been in/are in relationships with soldiers/veterans. What do I do????
Especially when he's stationed six hours away (driving the legal speed limit. Fuck the W. KY Pkwy!)
And he has to leave every other year to go to that fucking litterbox.
Sorry that my past 2304872 entries have been about Matt, but I'm trying to work out all this shit. I've never been in love before. And it's scary and it's hard and it hurts.
When something good happens, I want to tell him. When something bad happens, or I'm hurt, I want to be by him. When he's had a rough day, I want to hold him. When I'm with him, I'm home, even if I'm 300 miles from my own bed. When he holds me, I can let go of everything. I can tell him everything. Except that I love him.
I'm afraid of what it would do to his head. THat sounds so bizarre. But we have this unspoken thing between us that's stronger than anything I've ever experienced. We hint around it and drop clues all the time to let each other know how we feel. And it's best that way. Or not. It's easier for him. He's scared, too.
I can't blame him.
Since joining the Army, he's dated some crazy, stupid bitches who've used him and run him through the ringer. That's why he likes me so much. I'm low maintenance, ask for nothing, and we can talk for hours about anything.
I'm afraid that if I tell him, he'll get upset or scared and I'll lose him. But I don't want him to leave again (he's being redeployed for 13-18 months to one of the worst parts of Baghdad this summer) without knowing how I feel. I can't lose him without letting him know.
Fuck.
How can someone who makes me feel so amazing make me cry without even knowing it??????
I know a few of you have been in/are in relationships with soldiers/veterans. What do I do????
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Looking at UO huh? There are a wide range of people in Eugene. I think you'd like it. Besides the left coast kicks ass anyway.
I was in an early relationship (6months) and I got a short-notice deployment for the desert too. It was a terrible feeling to leave and be appart....it was also very stressfull, but we kept in touch everyday and she kept my spirits up by having someone to look forward to see when I returned home. But then again, we Air Force guys only have four-month rotations which isn't that bad...very short compared to the ARMY.