f_a_u_s_t

Update Time Once Again
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Well life has been pretty much the same, nothing too great or too bad, which actually has me a little worried, I need something different every once in a while. The house is finally all set up, I'm as happy as a pig in shit that I finally moved out. My new favorite thing to have in my house, which is a worse addiction than smoking, is buying those Mexican candles from the grocery store, you know the ones they sell in the Mexican Food isle. I think I have about 10, each with differnt saints and lotto numbers and what have you. Oh another thing is that I need to find some sort of woman friend. So if anyone knows of any cute, dorky, alterna-fun-time girls, please send them my way, cause I am in dire need of womanly attention. I did have a dream that I would meet someone on St. Patty's day so let's keep the fingers crossed that I find that special someone in the bottom of my 12th green beer. So yeah as said before, girl needed, no sex required, I just want to sleep next to someone for 2 reasons. 1) warmth is an obvious reason, 2)I sleep better that way. Ok enough of the lack of love life rant, I've been reading Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut and Porno(the sequal to Trainspotting not just random dirty magizines). Very good books if I do say so my self, so yes I belive you could say that I'm reccomending them. On to bigger and better things.
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I found this from a couple of years ago and laughed my ass off, I figured that I'd share it with you. Keep in mind that this my be the greatest love letter ever written.

Dave’s Rules On Being A Good Girlfriend

1. We must speak of our undying love to each other every day.

2. We must remain honest and faithful to each other.


3. If you ever write me a letter all I’s must be dotted with a heart.

4. I must be sexually gratified at least 5 times a day, especially when I wake up and after every meal.


5a. Within a period of no more than 2.79 months you must bear me children.

5b. In the event that you become barren, like the deserts of the Sahara, you must provide me with a concubine to bear my man-child.

6.In the event that I should become the least bit hungry, the cooking will commence and you must bring me the finest meats and cheeses.

7. During the act of coitus you must refer to me as “Papa grande de los pantelones caliente”.

8a. In the event of our parting I receive of all your worldly possessions, including all undergarments.

8b. Once parted you must present me with 3 beautiful women. All untainted, and yearning for my body.

Yours truly,
With Love,
Forever,
And Ever,
David Aaron Faust…

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OK music picks of the week. Just Bands this time, you go and find the songs you like.

oh and if you read this give me your favorite song to sleep to.

1. Do Make Say Think
2. Bjork
3. Mazzy Star
4. Portishead
5. Broken Social Scene

I know I'm having a woman week in music favorites but back off. It's what ever makes my water vessel boyant.