exquisite

For the last week and a half I've had severe tension throughout my neck and upper back - perhaps you noticed my skeleton diagram a few journal entries ago? The tension has made it extremely painful to turn or tilt my head, even just a little bit, towards the left and the headaches I'm experiencing as a result are almost constant. I'm unable to yawn or chew (or perform any similiar activity), without it causing horrid spasms of pain. It has now become so bad that I cannot clench my teeth, even for a split second, without my jaw attempting to lock shut. I'm used to my neck / back / jaw aching every so often, or my jaw "popping" while I chew, but this is far in excess of what I would consider normal.

The pain is really fucking bad right now.

Look up, what do you see?
All of you and all of me
Fluorescent and starry
Some of them, they surprise

The bus ride, I went to write this, 4:00 am
This letter
Fields of poppies, little pearls
All the boys and all the girls sweet-toothed
Each and every one a little scary
I said your name

I wore it like a badge of teenage film stars
Hash bars, cherry mash and tinfoil tiaras
Dreaming of maria callas
Whoever she is
This fame thing, I dont get it
I wrap my hand in plastic to try to look through it
Maybelline eyes and girl-as-boy moves
I can take you far
This star thing, I dont get it

Ill take you over, there
Ill take you over, there
Aluminum, tastes like fear, there
Adrenaline, it pulls us near
Ill take you over
It tastes like fear, there
Ill take you over

Will you live to 83?
Will you ever welcome me?
Will you show me something that nobody else has seen?
Smoke it, drink
Here comes the flood
Anything to thin the blood
These corrosives do their magic slowly and sweet
Phone, eat it, drink
Just another chink
Cuts and dents, they catch the light
Aluminum, the weakest link

I dont want to disappoint you
Im not here to anoint you
I would lick your feet
But is that the sickest move?
I wear my own crown and sadness and sorrow
And whod have thought tomorrow could be so strange?
My loss, and here we go again

Ill take you over, there
Ill take you over, there
Aluminum, tastes like fear, there
Adrenaline, it pulls us near
Ill take you over
It tastes like fear, there
Ill take you over

Look up, what do you see?
All of you and all of me
Fluorescent and starry
Some of them, they surprise

I cant look it in the eyes
Seconal, spanish fly, absinthe, kerosene
Cherry-flavored neck and collar
I can smell the sorrow on your breath
The sweat, the victory and sorrow
The smell of fear, I got it

Ill take you over, there
Aluminum, tastes like fear, there
Adrenaline, it pulls us near
Ill take you over, there
Aluminum, tastes like fear, there
Adrenaline, it pulls us near
Ill take you over
It tastes like fear, there
It pulls us near
Ill take you over
Ill take you over
It tastes like fear, there
It pulls us near
Pulls us near
Tastes like fear
Tastes like fear
Nearer, nearer
Pulls us near
Over, over, over, over
Over, over, over, over
Yeah, look over
Ill take you there, oh, yeah
Ill take you there
Oh, over
Ill take you there
Over, let me
Ill take you there
Ill take you there
There, there, there, baby, yeah

Years later, I still dig this song.