exploded

I don't know if anyone read's this, but my mom died two days ago. This was completely unexpected. I woke up to a phonecall yesterday morning at 8am. It was my dad.

"I have bad news. Your mom died last night"

"Oh my God."

I don't really remember much past that. I remember the conversation being really short. Me telling my roommate that my mom had died. Coming back to my room and telling Jessie.

Jessie and I later went to pick my sister up at my dad's house (my mom and dad divorced when I was 4 or 5). We then went over to my grandparent's house. My mom's parents, that is. The rest of the day is pretty much a blur. To try and unwind Jessie, Heidi (my sister), and I went bowling. It seems an odd day to do that, but it just seemed right.

Today has been really weird. The fact has started to sink in, and is becoming more real. Yet, I still had to go to work, everyone is still living their lives, but it seems like mine is on pause. I know that I have to go to class tomorrow, yet I don't feel like I should be. I won't do anything if I didn't go to class. I would just sit around here and play Counter-strike or something. But it still feels like class isn't going on. That probably doesn't make sense.

I've started to reflect on my life, and how my mother comes into it. The times that my sister and I lived with her. I've had to deal with death in the past, I've had one grandparent, three great-grandparents, and one friend from school die. Well, all but one of my great-grandparents are dead, but only three died in my lifetime. I don't know, death has never been this close to me.

She died in her sleep. We don't know what happened yet. There will be an autopsy. The funeral is on Saturday.

Say something.