New post! Wow! What a trip it has been! I finished my MA and defended my thesis. It was passed with no revisions necessary. Next, I went to a sex worker's rights conference and presented a paper on Sexual Oppression, Disability, and Sex Work. The conference was insane and the pool party they had the night before I left was utter debauchery. I loved it!...
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Good news, everyone! I got into McGill University to do my PhD with full funding. So, it looks like I will be moving to Montreal nearing the end of the summer. I can't wait to learn some French and the cheaper housing. I love Montreal. It is a beautiful city, it's academics are first class, it's people are beautiful, and it's food is pretty spectacular....
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violently:
congratulations!!! 
Well fuck me, it's January, the new year. Things are crazy and busy, but I'm feeling good. Writing more, and my writing has greatly improved. I think reading about writing and style has helped immensely. I feel totally over my ex, and I kind of roll my eyes at how naive I was with her and how much shit I put up with. My thesis...
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mutantbaby1:
Sounds great man. 
Things have been good lately, but extremely busy. I'm currently writing my thesis and it is an arduous process. I battle with my own self esteem, and feeling that I am not good enough. This feeling makes me lose motivation to write. But, at least I'm sitting down on the computer and writing some words and reading some items.
While writing my thesis, I have...
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While writing my thesis, I have...
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I probably shouldn't drink too much anymore. I had a few beers today, and I wasn't in a good head space. My week wasn't going the greatest. My garburator broke, so I had to call the landlord again and they had to clean up our apartment. It was so embarrassing. My neighbor came over that night to bring some soup by our apartment. I had...
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Well, it's Saturday. I figured I'd catch up on some things around the apartment before my body decides to get overly fatigued. My clothes are everywhere so firstly I need to hang some clothes up. Secondly make my bed. Thirdly read the articles I need to read for this graduate course on consciousness. And finally, I need to shower and clean my bathroom (actually this...
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Yesterday turned to shit. I was having a pretty good day and had woken up early to wait for my bus and go to my office. The morning was crisp, clear and beautiful, but I was running on no sleep and felt that today would be one of those days where I would slink around like a zombie. I got some work done on a...
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violently:
I'm so sorry you ran into her and it distressed you so much. You really are so much better off without her in your life, but you have every right to be angry at being undervalued since you are obviously worth much more than she made you out to be. You really showed your true character by sticking it out with someone who didn't deserve you. You're a very good person and she misconstrued that for weakness.
Also a thought: she might have seemed like she was calm and collected to you, but it might be an act. She might be really be miserable... in fact, I would guess that she probably is miserable in one way or another, since only a miserable person would be so awful and emotionally abusive to other people (you) intentionally.
Also a thought: she might have seemed like she was calm and collected to you, but it might be an act. She might be really be miserable... in fact, I would guess that she probably is miserable in one way or another, since only a miserable person would be so awful and emotionally abusive to other people (you) intentionally.
violently:
that's awesome! i would definitely go with you to get a tattoo if we lived close anyway
The move went fabulously and I'm all settled. The furniture I bought was totally cool too. I bought a sexy 100 year old red velvet couch, an antique rug, and an antique long coffee table that currently holds a huge set of books. My nerves have settled, but it got me thinking.
How is it that my sex crazed friend and I haven't done it...
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How is it that my sex crazed friend and I haven't done it...
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I just laid the security deposit down for my new apartment. I'm so terrified and excited. I have never moved out of my parent's place before and I have so much I need to figure out. I'm disabled, and the place is totally accessible, I can cook, clean and everything. The issue is, I can't drive, and I'm limited to paratransit which I have to...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
violently:
you will be able to handle it with ease, i've no doubt. and you're going to feel so good about it. you're intelligent and resourceful- this transition will go smoothly! i've been on my own for a long time now, and i still feel good about being able to do things by myself, even when they're shitty adult things like replacing broken appliances, and killing bugs, and paying bills.
i've been on my own for a long time now, and i still feel good about being able to do things by myself, even when they're shitty adult things like replacing broken appliances, and killing bugs, and paying bills.
violently:
That made me cry. Thank you.
I sit here after just coming back from a shitty movie, "Rock of Ages". It seems that watching movies is what I am doing mostly this summer. I worry about this. I am unmotivated lately. There are lists of things I want to do and accomplish this summer, but day in and day out I push them aside and spend my day playing video games,...
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marysa:
certainly, that is what we tell ourselves, tomorrow or in my case sometimes it can be "next week"
movies somehow always have felt like therapy to me but they are indeed isolating or thats how i feel as well and it makes me feel good, maybe the dark room with the screen or who knows.
i need to figure out my schedule in order to survive my summer as well
movies somehow always have felt like therapy to me but they are indeed isolating or thats how i feel as well and it makes me feel good, maybe the dark room with the screen or who knows.
i need to figure out my schedule in order to survive my summer as well
virninja:
Failure is a self fulfilling prophecy, it will only happen if you think it will. The same can be said for success, it is all in how you approach it. That being said, I am also pushing off important things so as to dedicate my time to things that are comforting but inconsequential. Perhaps it is the season.
also, I totally get where you're coming from- feeling like something tragic is going to happen? I always feel like that when things are going smoothly, or good things, or even an absence of bad things, are happening. i'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. lately I have been trying to tell myself "so what?" if it does drop? I can't prevent it and if it does drop i'll get through it. It takes a little bit of the fear away...kind of. I hope you find something that takes the fear away for you, you deserve peace of mind so you can enjoy your new life