i dont know anymore. i know im young and theres alot i have yet to see of this world, but i think ive already seen to much. ive been on the road my whole life and ive seen most of what the world has to offer and most of it sucks. ive been getting to that point where i just dont give much of a fuck about anything. happiness is something that has eluded me. if it wasnt for the music i would have killed my self a long time ago. but i love hearing how people make music about this horrible fucking world.
lately ive been thinking i just need to give up and live the life i was born into. just quit my job and roam the world with out a dollar to my name. it seems like such a better life sometimes, and its not one im not used to. to be honest its the only one i know. i have a lot of people i like to call friends, people that i care about...but i dont think any of them but one or two actually give a shit about me.
i used to think there was a purpose tio my life. i was so smart and i had seen so much i figured it couldnt have been for nothing....but now i realize, it was just a shitty life for no cause.
so why not give up on the dream the world had for me, and live the dream that was always my life.? why not just give up and quit my job and just go somewhere anywhere? im tired of crying myself to sleep at night whether its about the last girl i tried to be close to or the family ive never had. it all sucks and im about sick of it.
i wish i had the fucking balls to end it all but i dont. i think suicide is stupid, but i admire the people who have that much conviction. i couldnt fucking do it. oh god if only i could.
ive loved so many people in my life, but ive never loved myself.
i dont 4even know what the fuck im talking about.
all i see is my endless flow of tears and it makes the world look as grey and useless as it has always been.
just once
can i be happy?
just once...
please?
p.s. and fuck stupid bitches who lie and try to make you think it was all about you even when you knew they didnt give a shit about you. that fucking whore can burn in hell.one thing i cant stand is a liar.
"oh blue you're such a good person, you mean so much to me..."
CHOKE ON MY DICK YOU FUCKING LYING WHORE!
lately ive been thinking i just need to give up and live the life i was born into. just quit my job and roam the world with out a dollar to my name. it seems like such a better life sometimes, and its not one im not used to. to be honest its the only one i know. i have a lot of people i like to call friends, people that i care about...but i dont think any of them but one or two actually give a shit about me.
i used to think there was a purpose tio my life. i was so smart and i had seen so much i figured it couldnt have been for nothing....but now i realize, it was just a shitty life for no cause.
so why not give up on the dream the world had for me, and live the dream that was always my life.? why not just give up and quit my job and just go somewhere anywhere? im tired of crying myself to sleep at night whether its about the last girl i tried to be close to or the family ive never had. it all sucks and im about sick of it.
i wish i had the fucking balls to end it all but i dont. i think suicide is stupid, but i admire the people who have that much conviction. i couldnt fucking do it. oh god if only i could.
ive loved so many people in my life, but ive never loved myself.
i dont 4even know what the fuck im talking about.
all i see is my endless flow of tears and it makes the world look as grey and useless as it has always been.
just once
can i be happy?
just once...
please?
p.s. and fuck stupid bitches who lie and try to make you think it was all about you even when you knew they didnt give a shit about you. that fucking whore can burn in hell.one thing i cant stand is a liar.
"oh blue you're such a good person, you mean so much to me..."
CHOKE ON MY DICK YOU FUCKING LYING WHORE!
I have dealt with suicide closely and I can tell you, while there is admiration for their courage, it is perverted. Those left behind can't help but feel "what if"....I often wonder how awful it must have felt for the person...the depth of their pain.
Living is a choice, happiness is a choice.
It is the same individual path for everybody to make a life for themselves, to find some glimmer of happiness.
Chin up, eyes open.
There's a big brave world out there waiting for you to discover and experience it. =>
If you need anything I'm here!