evy

1. I like how matter of fact I can be sometimes.
2. I like how I have a more active sense of humor than I let on.
3.I like how I have lost 30 pounds since June 12.
4. I like how I feel when my coworkers notice it without me telling them.
5. I like how Damien - a coworker - thinks I'm worth talking to and doesn't treat me like poo anymore.
6. I like how the Canadian says things like "I heart you soo much, and I know we don't get to talk too much these days, but I really do," when I need to hear them most.
7. I like how my friends had to go to planned parenthood after their second time ever having sex. He is formerly gay and had never had sex with a girl and she was just a virgin. Way to start things out on the right foot. Hehehe. I love them so much.
8. I like how Casey is going to take the pictural and turn it into tattoo-ish for my next tattoo.
9. I like how my eyes look when I put on just a smidge of brown eye shadow. So blue!
10. I like how things are starting to make more sense to me now that I have made at least a glimmer of a plan.
11. I like how soft my hair feels when it's freshly washed.
12. I like how I know I'm smart even if other aspects of my life have been having trouble refelcting it.
13. I like how I write poetry someimes.
14. I like how I'm artistic.
15. I like how I'm a perfectionist.
16. I like how I survived.




If you haven't gathered, this isn't a survey or anything like that, it's just a list of things I like about myself because I think we all need to sit down and write/type that out sometimes. I think too many of us lose sight of what's positive in our lives and let the negative hide it all away.

I had to remind myself of this tonight because as I was driving through Fort Thomas to drop off Casey after having dropped off Lisa I caught a glimpse of my father walking into the bar and he looked right at me. We made eye contact. It made me physically ill. I explained to Casey why this was because she had never heard and didn't understand how my relationship with him could be worse than Lisa's with her dad's and it's always a very tough subject to discuss.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I am a vtictim of child abuse in the least reported and sometimes most serious form: psychological.

Yeah, it's funny what therapists will help you see and realize about your life.

I was put down my entire life for one reason or another and I was never good enough for him, but dammit, I'm good enough for me.

Think positive.

That's what I'm going to try to do now.








PS. Distorted Penguins are coming to Cinci in August!!!! Yay!!!! Sooooo excited!!!