I want to cry alot right now. I don't feel at all like things are going as planned or as smoothly as I think they should be and that pains me a great deal.
I'm just not motivated to be here at all right now. I'm slapping on a smile when I know that's what's making things worse for me. I wish there was a way to really explain this all. I feel alot better in some aspects of my life, but much worse in others.
I really need to seek out a counselor soon or I'm going to have to leave Witt for a while. I don't want to do that and I know if I do, I might not come back, but that might be best, ya know?
I hate my relationship with Steve sometimes. He's one of the hardest boyfriends I've ever had and that's really saying quite alot. He doesn't know how to tell when I'm kidding and he does this thing where he lies to me and blames everyone else when he gets caught. This is twice now that I know of for sure. It isn't Joey's fault that you didn't want to sit with me for a few minutes and told me you had a ton to do and then decided about 20 minutes later to go to Applebee's and I found out. It's yours. I don't care if you want to have fun with your friends and blow off homework, but when you lie to me or say that you don't have time to even just sit for 5 freaking minutes with me and then go to Applebee's for a freaking hour that really grates on my nerves. I don't think I should be the center of your world, but I hate that I feel like you don't care. I hate that when I caught you in it and was trying to joke with you about it (since I really wasn't angry to begin with) you got defensive and started doing crap that did make me angry. Let me tell you this, that fucking letting me call you back and saying hello and hanging up thing really fucking pissed me off. I would NEVER do that shit to you. You might think it's funny, but it's not. When I hung up on you it was because I thought you weren't there anymore because I heard mumbling and then nothingness.
Anyways, I'm so upset about so much right now that I'm having a really hard time concentrating on studying and I have a test tomorrow. I should try and get back to that.
I'm just not motivated to be here at all right now. I'm slapping on a smile when I know that's what's making things worse for me. I wish there was a way to really explain this all. I feel alot better in some aspects of my life, but much worse in others.
I really need to seek out a counselor soon or I'm going to have to leave Witt for a while. I don't want to do that and I know if I do, I might not come back, but that might be best, ya know?
I hate my relationship with Steve sometimes. He's one of the hardest boyfriends I've ever had and that's really saying quite alot. He doesn't know how to tell when I'm kidding and he does this thing where he lies to me and blames everyone else when he gets caught. This is twice now that I know of for sure. It isn't Joey's fault that you didn't want to sit with me for a few minutes and told me you had a ton to do and then decided about 20 minutes later to go to Applebee's and I found out. It's yours. I don't care if you want to have fun with your friends and blow off homework, but when you lie to me or say that you don't have time to even just sit for 5 freaking minutes with me and then go to Applebee's for a freaking hour that really grates on my nerves. I don't think I should be the center of your world, but I hate that I feel like you don't care. I hate that when I caught you in it and was trying to joke with you about it (since I really wasn't angry to begin with) you got defensive and started doing crap that did make me angry. Let me tell you this, that fucking letting me call you back and saying hello and hanging up thing really fucking pissed me off. I would NEVER do that shit to you. You might think it's funny, but it's not. When I hung up on you it was because I thought you weren't there anymore because I heard mumbling and then nothingness.
Anyways, I'm so upset about so much right now that I'm having a really hard time concentrating on studying and I have a test tomorrow. I should try and get back to that.
i hope you get a break and do well on the test too.
.....
ugh
I hate boys. Wanna join my club?
I hope things get better for you soon, hun.